But that was like months ago! Check it out here...
Rather than rehashing everything I went through then, I thought I'd share some lovely humor about people WITHOUT children.
Hubby Dearest and I have a few close friends with NO children. I love them...I really do...but....
{insert tragic sigh}
They just don't get it.
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| I have enough to deal with my own children...this is what will happen if you leave yours at my house! |
To all the people WITHOUT children,
I know you have all the answers. Sometimes looking at a situation from the outside provides so much perspective. I am aware of this.
However, you aren't exactly looking into my home from a helicopter view with the roof off my house if you get what I'm saying. You aren't seeing everything that is going on at once.
Your little peek into my daily world is more like peeking through my kitchen windows. You get a great...GREAT view (and even some pretty awesome smells) of exactly what is going on...RIGHT SMACK DAB IN FRONT OF YOU!
And...if you stretch your neck out...nope a little more...no just stretch it..like stick your chin out...okay there you go. If you stretch your neck out and twist it a little to the right (no try sticking your bum out back for balance...yea yea!), you might get a peek into what is happening in the far side of my dining room.
Yet, that lounge over there. Yea, you ain't got a CLUE what is happening. My two year old is currently busy ripping out continuous pages from a book....oh..it's my wedding album. Why, you ask? Well, because I currently have failed to grow that third arm I was promised and I'm trying to keep dinner from boiling over while hushing my crying infant.
No, he isn't hungry. He has a wind. Despite what your expertise in getting winds out might tell me, I deal with this every SINGLE day. It's NOT called colic. It's just how babies can be. Oh....but my two year old. He slept great and eats great too. He even has manners when around other people. But you see, he is just getting used to having a new brother in the house. For two years, he had all the attention and now he must share it.
I know...I know. You would be giving him exactly how much attention he needed. But you see, I work all morning and get home in time to feed him lunch and feed the baby. We play then...if baby sleeps. Despite what you think..you WILL NOT force them into a sleeping pattern. Some days however my two year old doesn't want my attention and is perfectly content to be on his own. But that day he does want it...well it will be the day my infant is sick from injections and the toilet pipe has happened to burst out of my wall and Hubby Dearest will be working late because of a promotion.
So....THANK YOU for your wonderful advice. I know that your second hand experience of parenting has taught you wonders and I'm positive that you will be perfect drown in your own words when you become parents. Until then have a look at a few of these....
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| Because we all know new parents have ALL the answers |
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| Don't lie....you thought it was funny! |
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This is how I feel most mornings leaving for work....we arrive at the creche and it is all smiles knowing EVERY mom there is faking it!
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All photos curteousy Google Images! ;)
Shana..
Ugh, the non-parent "experts"! I had two at work. One was 20, and insisted that she had "raised" her little sister. She gave me awesome advice like how to shame a child into pooping on the potty. Then there was the guy who once asked me about a parenting choice I'd made, and said, point-blank, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Never spoke to him again.
ReplyDeletePersonally, shaming a child is one of the dumbest things I've heard! At 20 years old, you've raised nobody! You aren't old enought to have 'raised' them! And as far as a non-parent saying your parenting choice is dumb...I would have stopped speaking to that person too! Ugh...it makes me mad!
DeleteAlmost as bad are the "40 years ago" parents. The ones who start every lecture with "when *I* was raising kids..." and then proceed to tell you how to do things, clearly showing they have forgotten what it's like to have a baby screaming all night or a toddler putting a pillow on the baby's face during failed tummy time and then sitting on the pillow.
ReplyDeleteLil Mister has also tried the pillow thing with LJ!! Jeeze...okay so my children aren't crazy! lol Exactly with the '40 years ago parents!' I know they try to mean well, but I always try to 'carefully' explain that neither are my children the same as theres nor is the times the same! (We no longer walk 10 miles to school uphill both ways if you get what I'm saying!)
Deleteyup! Totally agree with getting frustrated with the two extremes..no-kids people and people whose kids are now grown up so they don't remember the bad days! Sometimes, their advice is so simplistic that you can't do anything but laugh!
ReplyDeleteHubby Dearest and I have had some GREAT laughs with advice we've been given. I've also had some I wanted to slap just because of how ignorant they can be!
DeleteHaha, love this. As a neonatal nurse, who was pretty hands on looking after younger siblings and cousins, I pretended I didn't think I knew it all but inside I was feeling like "yeah i got this" Then I was handed my very own baby and *poof* turns out, I knew nothing! And even once you get a grip on what's going on- they grow so quick, before you know it, everything has changed anyway and what used to work doesn't anymore...and if you have another child you can guarantee they won't be a bit like the first either. So really, you're never going to have all the answers, and anyone who thinks they do is delusional!
ReplyDeleteI, too, was a non-parent advice person at one point. Before having children I worked as a PE coach and in a creche and had TONS of opinions. Luckily for my sake I only shared them with my Hubby and MIL but I got a true slap in the face by karma when my own entered the world! I agree, things change so quickly just when you think you're getting it..poof they create something new!
DeleteI won't lie, I laughed hardest at the seat-belt baby. I also loved "drown in your own words". The worst for me is when a parent with an older child says, "Just wait until..., you'll see then." As though my child will eventually be going through exactly what they have experienced. Makes me wanna say, "Just wait until this,."
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY! Jeeze...it's like they want to make us dread parenting!
DeleteYou hit the nail on the head here! I think my favorite is the LOOKS. You know what I'm talking about, the grocery shopping scream belting out of your child's mouth, the stranger who has an infant quietly sleeping in a car seat (or even the ones who obviously have no children) walking by and trying to make eye contact with you to show their disapproval of your hungry, tired, antsy two year old yelling "NO!" as you try to pick out the best priced chicken?
ReplyDeleteYeah, those looks.
I think I have some built up anger towards these people or something because when I read this comment all I could think about was how they make me want to claw at their eyes when they give me these looks! I want to tell them 'HEY, I'm showered, my kid is clean and in matching clothes and I'm not wearing yoga pants...we're both alive still so CHILL OUT on me!'
DeleteHahaha. So funny. In my last job in the USA, I was a counselor/behavioral interventionist for children and families. Obviously, I didn't have kids yet, so I was getting paid to give families advice. I'd say that I could definitely still help them becasue I understood some learning and reinforcement concepts that they didn't know about. When I could give them a new way to look at situations and new tools that *might* work for them, they were grateful. I'd never, ever, just go up to one of my friends though and give them unsolicited advice.
ReplyDeleteThat is completely different and understandable! You were trained in what you are doing! I have a friend however that has no children, never held a real job, and lives with her parents at 26 but thinks she knows what I'm going through! REALLY!!
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