I want to speak about something very sensitive today. Something that is weighing on my heart and the heart of someone I love very dearly. However, this is not my story to tell, so forgive me for being vague.
A very close and dear friend of mine was affected by a suicide in the family earlier in this year. My heart breaks as I write this because this friend is someone I consider family and the pain I see being suffered is almost unbearable.
I was asked to go to this friends house when they received the news and obviously I felt I couldn’t get there quick enough. Although, when I arrived I suddenly realized I had no idea what to say.
This is not something I had dealt with before. I’ve experienced death, and car accidents, and even murder....but no one I’d ever known had taken their own life. I’d never been asked to console a friend during a time like this.
But it wasn’t about me. It was about what was happening in their life and in their hearts. So, I did my best...helped pack bags, made some coffee, and reminded them how precious they are. Yet, I left feeling so helpless.
Later, Hubby and I had a discussion about suicide and what it means in our faith. You see, there are no scriptures about suicide. There are no Biblical references telling us what to believe or what to do. Sadly, I grew up in a church that believed suicide leads you to hell.
This put a stone in my heart when I went to console my friend. What words of comfort could I give when I believed something so tragic? I rather kept my mouth closed as my heart was betraying me. I had been taught one thing my entire life, but somehow that went against everything I knew about God as a Father, Teacher, Judge, Creator, and Counselor.
Hubby and I could not reach a solid answer and I knew I needed to seek for something more. Amazingly, God has surrounded me with people who do have greater knowledge and understanding than me and I was able to ask the necessary questions Tuesday morning at work. I praise God for providing people I can turn to when all I see is darkness!
Simply put, I needed an answer as to how God views suicide. I needed help as to what to say to my friend. And I needed help as to what to pray.
I was reminded that words are not always needed. That sometimes the presence of loved ones is enough to soothe. That it is sometimes better to remain still than force meaningless words.
The words given to me were beyond powerful. I was told to remember God’s grace. Yes, suicide is a sin and yes, it is a tragedy. However, God’s Word tells us that if we are saved, NOTHING can take that away.
Paul tells us in Romans 8:38-39:
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creations will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
The words filled me and reminded me that we truly have no idea what happens in those last moments. We cannot imagine the turmoil and pain in someone’s heart to drive them to such extremes. Although, I stand firm in the belief that Satans hand played a role in this situation, Christ was not absent.
We have hope that there was time for forgiveness in those last moments. We have grace that allows our judging Father to be forgiving and understanding.
My heart breaks continuously for what my friend is facing, however, now there is peace.
I pray you are reading this, because you know who you are. You were and always will be loved. Do not mistake my quiet for confusion any longer. My heart has found peace in the stillness. I am here for you. In whatever way you need! I will pray with you. I will keep busy with you. I will pass through the daily tasks with you. And when the time comes again to you, I will laugh with you!
We pray today for the forgiveness of your loved one. We pray that in those last moments there was confession and light was shone down. We close our eyes tonight believing that loved one no longer suffers from doubt or depression and the victory of Christ on the cross belongs to them. We pray because we know God’s grace is overwhelming.
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—“
Though it is tragic, we believe in the restoration. We find peace in our hearts knowing there is no more suffering. You are a beautiful child of God and He has not nor will He abandon you during this walk. Only God can know the suffering and pain which brought your loved one to this point and only God can restore them.
God is walking with you and has His loving arms wrapped around your loved one. May your family find peace. May your heart once again have joy. It is tragic, but NOTHING takes away Christ’s salvation.
“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” Romans 10:13
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