Organized Chaos

Friday, 29 March 2013

Why do I run? Fitness Friday {week 13}

You'll see I missed last week! Sorry peeps but it was an off weekend between school holidays and sickness...but I'm Back so relax! ;-)

It was a simple question but it caught me off guard. Hubby Dearest and I were having a bumpy day (you could say) and fishing got brought up. Sometimes I get a bit frustrated because it feels like the moment Hubby Dearest has some time where he could just chill at home with me and the kids, he is off to go fishing!
I want to scream. I’m just like look..DUDE...I’m here all afternoon EVERYDAY and ALL weekend with them. I love them but they want some daddy time. You’re at work. You aren’t here with all the stress. Come on, man!
Then he asks me that. I’m like, umm duh! Because I need a break for just me. I need to do this one thing that is my time for me to be a little selfish in this parenting ordeal. I need to distress and forget about everything. It is just me, the pace of the music, my beating heart, the thrump thrump of my feet against the pavement, and that goal I’m trying to beat. It is me against the world. It’s....oh I get it now.
Sometimes, I forget that he needs some him time to. Running has become a necessity for my life. It is something I look forward to. It is something that helps me wind down and recharge at the same time. I can see things from a different angle when I’ve just had a run. New possibilities become visible and windows that seemed closed are now wide open. It just resets me back to well....a better me!
Why do you run??

March 18- March 23
Have I mentioned that it has been constantly. EVERY FRACKIN’ evening! It is cramping my style. I am proud to say I’ve beat my goal and ran my 5km in 32 minutes! Whoop whoop! This is frackin’ awesome. If you don’t think so then quit reading! NOW!.....
I’m still trying to figure out the whole cross training with my littles..but we got our cable turned back on and that means I use the electronic baby sitter while I workout. week I go back to working FULL DAY!! I already battle to figure out how to fit everything in and am PRAYING that I manage to learn a routine that works.
Running during lunch is a severe possibility. It is already getting to dark to make long runs in the mornings. It just isn’t safe here to run when it isn’t light out. I’m considering buying a pepper spray to carry in my hand so I can at least get out and run the 1km loop that is my home street.
I did the following:
1x 5km run in under 35 minutes
1x 4km easy
1x yoga day
2x core workouts

It still isn’t near what I’m aiming for but I refuse to lower my goals. In other first 5km is suppose to be in 3 weeks! EEEKK...but I haven’t figured out transport there as it is, duh duh duh 38km away from home! To be continued....

Future outlook:
April 1- April 7
3x cross training (2x full body 1x core)
2x Easy runs totalling 15km
Speed: 4x 800m @ 4:35-4:40
Tempo: 2x 2k tempo @ 6:00
12 km long run

Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!

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Thursday, 28 March 2013

TT-A letter to myself at 16

Dear Shana,
You are young, carefree, and the world is at your feet. I’m just asking for a minute or two of your time, that’ll you’ll slow down and look forward; instead of just in the here and now.
But please, for us, don’t change a single thing you’re going to do!
There are going to be days where life is hard. It will feel like the world is crashing around you. It’s going to be as if you really can’t carry on. I promise you can though. You’re going to be surprised how strong you are.
You’re going to loose people you love in this life for a lot of reasons. Some will be stripped away before their time. Although, I cannot tell you why this happens; I can promise that no matter how dark the days seem, you will figure out a way to carry move forward. You will never forget, but you will live. There will be people you thought you loved that will hurt you and walk out on your life. You will learn that they never deserved your love to begin with.
The worst though, is that you are going to walk away from people who love you. It’s okay though. We all have to make our own choices in life and we MUST go where the life waters flow. Those people will forgive you. Their love is strong and unconditional. Never let yourself think otherwise.
Stop trying to control everything going on around you. You’re missing the bigger picture. You’re missing the fun. Jump on this rollercoaster ride called life and ride it for everything it has to offer. (And open your eyes so you can see!)
Today, you live in a box. You have school and work and friends and boyfriends and what is happening around town on the weekends. It’s okay. Don’t let anyone convince you that you need to grow up too quickly. You will grow up when the time is right for you. Everything you experience is for a reason.
Document everything! Take pictures, write quotes, journal, and social media it up. But always know that the best moments will remain in your heart forever. Keep a special place for those special times with special people.
No matter how angry you are with a loved one, always make sure the last thing said before walking out the door is ‘I love you.’ It’s hard but you’re going to regret it if you don’t. Just tell them, even when you’re mad.
Never stop caring for yourself. Your hair, face, skin, nails….all of it! It doesn’t make you who you are but it is a part of what you are. Take care of your body. You only get one!
Look at the stars as often as possible. You don’t need to talk about it. Just look and soak in the magic.
Your high school boyfriends are not the men you will marry. They aren’t even close. Learn to love yourself so you can know what love is. Learn to love GOD so you can know how to be loved.
Make GOD your number one priority because if your life is inline with His Will then everything else you choose will also be there.
Love Lauren with everything you can. There will never be another friend like her. Carry her with you every moment. Love her.
One day, when Shannon wants you to go to the State Fair. Don’t make excuses….just go. It will change your life forever….
And always remember…
Love as much as possible
Laugh as often as you can
Hope for all things
Pray everyday.

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Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Thank You!!!

It’s that time of year again. The red carpet rolls out. The celebrities all put on their best. The Rolls Royce is pulled from the garage. We all gather for photographs and endless questions…..
Oh wait I got a little carried away there didn’t I. You caught that did you! Oh, ok…you’re right I’m not participating in the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards this year….only because Bradley Cooper doesn’t realize my invitation never arrived in the mail. {I’m firmly blaming the postal services here for this unforgivable mistake!}
Duh duh duh
I have been nominated…TWICE!! my lovelies for a Liebster Award!

This will make my second and third Liebster Award, but I will not crowd my precious sidebar with more than one little logo. {Unlike the future Oscars to cover my mantle….oh…no….ok you’re right I’m dreaming again…[sigh]}
I want to take a moment to thank Dawn over at Delectably Dawn and Stacey at This Mammas Ramblings for their consideration in me!
This little corner of the www we like to call the blogosphere can be kind of rough. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m back in high school competeing for prom queen and ‘most likely to succeed.’ We have the popular crowd who seem to have like a gajillion billion readers and the weird ones who you just struggle to get in with and then there is the little guys like me! We’re not the stinky group that sits in the corner playing Dungeons and Dragons but we’re also not the cheerleaders dating the quarterback!
We’re simply out their doing our best and putting ourselves on the line to be built up or torn down.
What is so amazing is that every once in a while…in the blink of an eye…someone else steps from their shell and reaches out to one of us. We connect. We laugh and cry together. We read together and write together. We grow together!

That is what the Liebster is all about! It is an award for up and coming bloggers in this little world of ours! It is an award given to bloggers with 200 or less readers. There are some rules to this award though!
1)       Thank the person who gave it to you in a post….this is a little bit of like ‘HEY….advertise me quickly!! I did it for you!!’ or ‘I scratch your back you scratch mine!’
2)       Tell 11 facts about yourself.
3)       Answer the 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
4)       Prose 11 questions for the 11 bloggers you nominate.
5)       NO TAG BACKS!! ;-)

Okay…so I’ve already taken care of number 1 but let me throw it out there again! THANK YOU to Dawn and Stacy!! I’m so glad you are enjoying growing with me!

My 11 facts
1)       I NEVER thought I’d be 23 married with two kids but…HERE I AM! ;-)

2)       I am deathly afraid of clowns….the make my hair stand up and I will hide in closets. Sorry kids…no clowns at birthdays!

3)       I have this really weird reoccurring dream about taking a bath in diamonds and warm almond milk. I’m not sure what it means but I wouldn’t mind it coming true!

4)       As you probably figured out above…Bradley Cooper is my celebrity crush from Hangover to The A-Team…I’m an addict!

5)       I would willingly in a heartbeat pull my kids from school in high-school to homeschool and travel the world. But I want to wait until they are old enough to enjoy the experience. I don’t think there is anything the school can provide that a trip like that wouldn’t make up!

6)       I work for a farm in South Africa…but it isn’t what you think! We harvest citrus and grapes and are busy ALL YEAR ROUND. You really can get sick of eating grapes!

7)       Although so many people hated it….I LOVED being a blonde and think I’d do it again if it wasn’t so much work!

8)       Since starting blogging, I’ve become emotionally attached to my cell phone. It is like an extra appendage and I am lost without it. I am probably addicted to social media.
I didn't have picture for this so how about another one of Bradley Cooper! ;-)

9)       Lil Mister has absolutely NO problem walking around nude. We have never made a big deal about it and now at over two years old he will spend the whole day without pants if I let him.
10)   I like to cuddle…even when it’s hot out I’ll climb in bed with my boys and hold them close. Especially when they are so small! LJ is an ah-mazing cuddler!

11)   I have a bloggy crush on the following ladies and it is why I so desperately sought them out for ad swaps!! ;-) Kaitlyn at Wifessionals, Samantha at Hooah and Hiccups, Marquis at Simply Clarke, Lisette at Northern Belle Diaries, and Erin over at Newlywed Moments!! If you’ve never checked these ladies out…I suggest you do it now! Oh and Casey over at We TookThe Road Less Traveled (even if she doesn’t do swaps anymore! I still luvvv her blog space!)
 Oh you wanted another you go...
How could you not crush on that???

Dawns questions….
What is your favorite children’s movie of all time? Why? 
Aladdin. I still want to watch this movie every time I’m sick with a bowl of Chicken Noodle soup and a Sprite and saltine crackers. This was my Mom’s cure for everything!
Do you work outside of your home? Or are you a SAHM? What is your favorite aspect of your job?
I’m a WOHM. I love my children but I work for me. I need that feeling of accomplishment that I achieve at work. I love the people I work with. My boss is ah-mazing and the entire farm just has a sense of easiness amongst each other!
Who is the most inspirational person in your life?
I’d say it was my Granny. I spent a little over a year living with her before I moved to South Africa and that was one of the best times of my life. She got me back on track with the Lord, taught me to nuture the Spirit in my life, and always encouraged me to follow my dreams. I miss her terribly but carry her with me every day!
What’s your guilty pleasure? Bad reality T.V. shows? Taboo memes on the internet? A certain food that only a pregnant woman would love?
Coffee and chocolate….I even make coffee cocoa brownies ;-/
Pepsi, Coke, Coffee, Tea, Water, Juice…or wine?
Coke over Pepsi, Coffee over Tea, Water over Juice….is noon to early for wine?
What’s your favorite fruit? Do you prefer it raw, baked, with dinner, in a salad…or with everything?
Strawberries….I’ll eat them raw, with cream, in a salad, juice….I just love them!
What is your favorite genre of music to listen to in the car?
Country! I love the feeling it gives me of my home roots!
Toilet paper…are you an over the roll or under the roll user?
I never really cared but Hubby insists it goes under the roll!! So I oblige! ;-)
It’s bedtime! Are you a side, back or stomach sleeper?
I’m a side sleeper….it aids in the cuddle process!
What’s your favorite gadget to use in the kitchen?
A whisk…no matter how hard I love whisking it by hand!
When you’ve had a stressful day, what is the FIRST thing you do to unwind?
Sit and play with my boys. If the day is just too much, I leave everything and just play in the grass. It makes my worries go away!

And Stacy’s questions…
How long have you been blogging?
6 lovely months!!
What are your hobbies?
Running….do children count??
How many children do you have or would like to have?
Oh kids….I have two beautiful monkeys boys and I’m perfectly happy..NO MORE
What is your favorite tv show?
House still beats everything else…I’ll watch reruns for days on end!
What is your favorite color?
Eish….I like pink but honestly…I love LOVE a mustard yellow. I think it looks great on me!
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Hmm….I really can’t decide. I’d rather live on a boat that my family and I can just travel and drift wherever the current takes us.
Do you have any pets?
1 poor little fish…the others didn’t make it. We need to get him some friends.
Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Oh my….yes let’s just leave it at that!
What is your favorite desert?
Cheesecake all the way people!!! CHEESECAKE!
Are you a night or day person?
Before kids….night totally. I still love nighttime…but the kids force me to be a day person
What is your favorite Season?
I miss Autumn in America. The change in colors, sitting around a fire bundled up roasting hotdogs, hay rides, full moons. I LOVE it!!

And finally for my questions….
1)      If you knew there were no consequences, what would you do?
2)      What do you believe in?
3)      Who is your celebrity crush?
4)      Why did you start blogging?
5)      If you could be a sea creature, what would you be? Why?
6)      Most said statement from you…..
7)      Finish the sentence….One time when I was in high school,
8)      What is one thing you NEVER leave the house without?
9)      What is number one on your Bucket list?
10)   What is the one thing you always turn to in order to relax?
11)   Favorite person…..

And the nominees are....
Lovely Light
Run Zippy Run
Sprinkles on Toast
Foodies Find Fitness
Life with the Little Man
Mind Body and Goal
Nugget on a Budget

Go get them girls!!! ;-)
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Tuesday, 26 March 2013

The One Where I Ramble

By the way...I've guest posted over at Here's to Handy Andy. You should really go check her out because she is ah-mazing!!
It’s been coming on for a few days. I knew it was. We felt it last week. We felt it over the weekend. However, today…this morning….it hit me like a truck.
Actually, a train. Nope the train missed me and the station landed on top of me.
We’re sick. Well, Hubby Dearest and I are sick. I woke up this morning and didn’t even want to lift my head from the pillow. The water running from the shower hurt my sore body.
It’s financial year end at work, so to say we’re busy is an understatement. It is month end therefore things are hectic at home. Friday is Ma’s birthday so I must still plan for that.
And I’m sitting here at work, typing this, and feeling miserable for myself. I just want a strong dose of medication and my bed. Neither of which are possible because I’m breastfeeding and have a toddler!

Grr…sometimes I wish I could just ask my maid to work late and keep both boys while I cower under my sheets.
We’re planning to go to our parents for the weekend. We have a four day weekend here, but Hubby Dearest will work until 1 on Friday. So I will have everything packed up and the moment he gets off work we’ll hit the road. It is only an hour and a half drive, but that is like an eternity with two kids in the car. It will be the first time we travel with BOTH kids. I’m nervous!
I plan to make Lil Mister an Easter basket. It will be his first because I felt he was too young last year to actually appreciate it. I’m still not sure what I want to put in it, but I’m leaning towards a transportation theme. He is obsessed right now with tractors, trains and airplanes. Throw a bike in there with a little mix of boat and you have a toddler on cloud 9. It shouldn’t be too difficult.
However, finding those little plastic eggs is difficult because I wanted to make an Easter egg hunt for him this year too!
For some odd reason he likes eggs a lot. Not to eat them; unless of course they’re chocolate….but he wants to play with them. It only makes sense to me that an egg hunt would be fun!
Lil Mister needs shoes and LJ already is needing bigger clothes. That child is growing like a weed! He is getting so chunky and has now been dubbed Mommy’s chunky monkey. He is a very happy baby and I love LOVE how he squeals each day when I get home (maybe he should be my piggly wiggly….). Just look at this face…..

And this one…simply because Lil Mister’s laugh is the best!!

Otherwise it has been pretty uneventful in our house.
I’m wanting a new tattoo. Of course, I cannot afford this…but I can think about it.
I want to do winter shopping too!
A new kitchen theme wouldn’t hurt….
Oh…I just want some change I guess.
Do you ever feel like that? That you just need a little change. Like that your life is becoming too predictable.

Okay, I’ve rambled enough for today so I’m going to leave you with this.
See that little button at the bottom. Yea, the brown one with the funny looking lady. Don’t you want to click it?? Heck, you can click it once a day even! Yea, there you go…doesn’t that feel better now! ;-)

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Monday, 25 March 2013

Monthly verses Weekly Shopping

When I started writing this post I was supposed to be cleaning my house while the littles slept. Instead, my heart was racing and my mind was traveling between all possible outcomes like the energizer bunny on crack!
Usually I do monthly shopping. You see, where we live, we get paid a monthly salary. Yep, my peeps, I get money once a frackin’ month. This calls for extreme budgeting. Not only did I leave America where I got a nice weekly paycheck and only had to figure out how to get through 7 days at a time (oh how I miss you…RIP Weekly Check) but I ALSO left waitressing which meant no more money in my pocket everyday.
Oh…what am I becoming. How did the world become so dark and cold???
Ok…back to reality (snap there goes gravity there goes Rabbit he… know you’re singing that song by Eminem right now!)
Typically, just after payday I hit the town and do all my shopping…especially grocery shopping. I buy in bulk because bulk equals cheaper right?!?
I have this insane fear that we’re going to reach the last week of the month and not have milk and have no money…so I buy 10 cases of long life each payday. Makes sense to me!
However, fate is shaking up my life a little bit. We are currently without a car. Yep, you read that right…no car! We sold ours because we were walking everywhere as we couldn't afford the petrol! In all fairness, the thing was like a bottomless pit when it came to petrol. It was a carnivorous gas guzzling money eating machine and I hated it!
The reality now is that I cannot walk home with a months worth of groceries! So, I’m planning and switching to weekly shopping.
Thank You Google: If I had to walk with all my groceries, I'd totally get a trolley like this!

This scares me! It means a STRICT budget and no cushy filled pantry cupboards. It means knowing what I’m making in advance rather than just having my own mini grocery store at my cupboard….
I’m literally starting to sweat and my heart is racing just considering the possible negative outcomes!
I've never meal planned in my life. I make a general idea (i.e. mince Mondays, chicken Tuesdays, egg Wednesdays etc etc) and make whatever fits the profile. WHAT AM I TO DO??
Peeps… I need your help! I need my fellow planners out there to step up to bat.
Pitch a few ideas my way. Tell me how you handle weekly shopping. Tell me HOW TO DO IT!!! 
Convince me that there are cons to shopping weekly! Tell me your trick to making it work! Help me keep within a frackin' budget because I'm going off the deep end here people.
Pull me from the abyss of frackin' out!! (It's dark and lonely here!)

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MHO Monday Mingle...Luck

Before I go all 'get your head in the game' on you....let me just address a small concern that seems to have overwhelmed the blogosphere!!
Yes...Google Reader is closing shop. is not the end of the blog-orld!! 
Please...jump over to bloglovin and read me there. You know you want to. Just clickity-click that little button!! 
Follow on Bloglovin


A weekly questioner with Funny Postpartum Lady and Story of a Girl!!

This Week's Theme: LUCK

1.  Do you believe in luck? Why or why not?
No. I believe that everything has a plan and purpose designed by God.

2.  Do you or have you ever had any good luck charms?
I'm going to be pretty boring today aren't I?!? No, I do not have any lucky charms or good luck notions. I do not believe in luck!

3.  Does your Significant Other have a lucky charm? What is it? We just believe that God is in control.

4.  Where do you think the word Luck originated from? Just guess if you don't know
I've never thought about it.....

5.  Do you know of anyone who goes overboard with luck or lucky charms? Please explain!
I'm lucky ;-) in that I do not know anybody like this!!

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Friday, 22 March 2013


Northern Belle Diaries March Sponsor ad giveaway

It's time for the monthly sponsor giveaway. This month I let my sponsors choose what we wanted to give away, and they chose to give away ad spaces! Who doesn't like ad space? 

Without further ado, here are their beaming faces:
Northern Belle Diaries - March Sponsors

Who's giving away what:

1// Lisette - 200x200 "Northerner"   2// Samantha - 150x150 "Specialist"   3// Sara Elizabeth - 300x300 "Pearl Kinda Girl"   4// Elizabeth - 200x200 "Sweet Tea Ad "   5// Stephanie - 300x150 "Large ad"   6// Amy - 200x100 "Little Mama"   7// Jenna - 200x200 "Home Run"   8// Shana - 300x300 "The Big Time"  9// Rachel - 200x150 "The Postcard"  10// Nadine - 200x200 "Regular"  11// Melissa - 200x250 "XL ad"   12// Gayle - 200x200 "King Triton"  13// Amberly - 150x150 "The Simple Life"  14// Marquis - 150x150 "Small ad"

Giveaway details:
Winner MUST follow Northern Belle Diaries.
Open worldwide.
(Entries will be verified.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Tuesday, 19 March 2013

ABC's of ME

I pulled this little number from Catalyn over at Confessions of a Northern Belle. If you haven't checked her out before, well you better get to steppin....right over to her blog that is! She is great! I couldn't pass up an opportunity to share absolutely useless wonderful facts about myself with all of you!

A is for AGE:  23
B is for BED size:  Double
C is for CHORE you hate:  Hanging the washing! I have no problem washing or ironing but Frack I hate hanging it up
D is for DOGS:  I’m indifferent
E is for ESSENTIAL start to your day: coffee
F is for FAVORITE color:  pink or turquoise
G is for GOLD or silver:  I like them both! My engagement ring is white gold with a yellow gold band and diamonds on either side
H is for HEIGHT: five feet, three inches.
I is for INSTRUMENTS you play: I haven’t played in four years but I played violin since I was 8.
 J is for JOB title:  Data Clerk
K is for KIDS:  Two rowdy boys
L is for LIVE:  South Africa
M is for MARRIAGE:  going on four years
N is for NICKNAMES:  nope
O is for OVERNIGHT hospital stays:  2-both for labor and giving birth
P is for PET PEEVE:  excessive drinking and drunkenness
Q is for QUOTES:  "that’s very disrespectful”
R is for RIGHTY or lefty:  Right
S is for SIBLINGS: Step-brother, two step-sisters, a Half brother, and two brothers in laws
T is for TIME you wake up: 4:30 am
U is for UNIVERSITY you attended:  umm…none
V is for VEGETABLES you dislike:  I don’t think there is any
W is for WHAT makes you run late: children…nuff said
X is for XRAYS you've had:  too many to name…I was a rough kid
Y is for YUMMY food: pasta, cheesy anything, and some good ol’ authentic Mexican
Z is for ZOO animal:  penguins!

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Monday, 18 March 2013

Four years and some lessons learnt

Four years ago I took the plunge and made a decision that would change my life forever. There were many reasons behind my decision but mostly I was {still am} young, in love, and ready to start the next chapter of my life.
On March 15, 2009 I landed and took my first steps on South African soil. I’d never been outside of the U.S. and I’d never been on an airplane before!
I was praying a boy I hadn’t seen in 7 months whom I’d only ever been face to face with three times would be waiting on the other side of customs.
I remember standing in line to get my visa. My palms were shaking so badly the woman behind me felt the need to hug me. We were from different lands, spoke different languages, but a simple gesture tied us in my memory forever.
Time seemed to drag past while the people were moving in fast forward. Everything was a blur. I couldn’t focus.
I was so nervous hey wouldn’t give me my visa that I wouldn’t stop talking long enough to answer the customs officers questions. I’m sure she thought I was on crack. Nevertheless, she let me through!
And so began the rest of my life….
In light of 4 years having past I thought I’d share with you four things I’ve learnt….

1)   I am not defined by where I’m from
When I first moved to South Africa I quickly became known as “The American” “Miss America” or just “America.” Initially this did not bother me. It was a joke among friends. When we moved from the sunny coast of Durban to the inlands of Groblersdal {and from a town of 20,000+ to 5,500} it got a little extreme. I’ve been living in Groblersdal for three years now and I’m still known as “The American.” For many, whether you believe it or not, I’m the only American they’ve ever met. My accent is still strong and my English a little too fluent for this very VERY Afrikaans community.
With the name came other….factors. Everything I do, especially if it is different from the way a South African would do it, is because ‘you’re American.’ I’ve found myself defending my actions while denying that it has anything at all to do with where I am from.
People seem to have troubles separating who I am with what I am. This became difficult in my mind to. It got to a point where everything for me centered around where I was from. I wasn’t Shana anymore.
I’ve spent a lot of time since then separating the two….I am still Shana and I am who I am. Yes, where I come from has affected my upbringing and some factors of my personality, but it does NOT define me as a person.
I love my country but I am MORE than just an American.
2)   Assumptions are the mother of all frackups
This goes wit h number one in a lot of ways. People made a lot of assumptions about me before they met me based on some things Hubby Dearest had said and based on me being American. Once I came to South Africa, everything I did was then shifted in their minds to meet these assumptions. Actions and words would be twisted to make them fit into the box they’d created for me. Once you create a box or a stereotype for someone, anything that doesn’t fit into this box becomes an issue.
This has been the center of a lot of heartbreak for me. I refuse to judge people or fit them into boxes because of this. I never make assumptions about the type of person someone will be until I’ve had the opportunity to meet them for myself.
The assumptions people made about me have hurt myself and my family.
3)   Just because I’ve slipped doesn’t mean I’m not a Christian
The first two lead to the third. Before I came to South Africa I was planning to come here for missionary work. When I met Hubby Dearest, plans changed and I came here permanently. I lost my way a little bit when I got here though. I was thrown into a world I hadn’t expected. In truth, I hadn’t known what to expect and therefore lost my way a bit. I began to do what everyone else was doing in order to ‘fit in.’ This set up a bad beginning for Hubby and I and also led a lot of people to think I had been ‘fake.’ This is not the case.
I felt separated from the LORD for a long period because of choices I had made. I felt like my relationship which I’d spent so long nurturing with the SPIRIT had become a void in my life. I felt as if GOD had forsaken this nation and myself.
What I learnt was it was my mistakes. I let myself slip. When I pulled myself from my spiritual network I had at home, I learnt I wasn’t sure where to go on my own. I was without guidance.
Now, I’m back in a church I can call home with people I can call family and my relationship with the SPIRIT is being rebuilt.
Just because I had a dark time, it does not mean I’m not a Christian. Simply because I have sinned does not mean I am a fake.
We all make mistakes. GOD is love and forgiveness and I am blessed because of that.
4)   Everyone deserves second chances
All of this leads me to my last lesson learnt. I’ve been burnt a few times in my life and it put a chip on my shoulder. I became the type to forgive but not forget.
I would forgive you for hurting me but I wouldn’t allow you back into my life.
I’ve hurt people over the years. When I moved here, I cut all relationships with my Dad back home because it hurt that he wasn’t supportive. I regret this decision greatly and have spent the remainder of my years here making genuine effort to include him in my life. It is more difficult than I’d ever imagined.
I hurt him badly when I cut him out, but he forgave me. He let me back in.
Everyone deserves a second chance. If they hurt you twice that is their fault…if they hurt you three times it’s yours.

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5 for FIVE....weeks FAIL

Do you tend to set goals only to see them slide down your priority lists? Do you want to make your goals each week to create a better more efficient you?
Do you want to start making goals?
Monday is the day for {5 for Five} with Jenn and Jessica! This link up allows you to come and share your top 5 goals for the week ahead. Link up with us and share what you accomplished last week AND what goals you're setting for yourself the week ahead.  (Still need a little clarification? That's okay! Check out Jessica's summary of the link up here!)
So....I have an obsession with planners, journals, logs, and goals. I feel the insanity of it all is what keeps me sane! With all that I do (and don't do!), it's a great idea if I share some of my weekly goals with you and how I 'attack' them in my daily life. Goals are the structure to my life!
{ 1 for 5}
1) 4x Runs and 2x Cross Training I got two runs and two cross trainings in BUT it rained and rained and rained and since I don't have a treadmill this cramps my running a bit....
2) Wash my face every night I'm so glad I've been doing this. My face and skin feels SO much better. 
3) Have a date night This was not successful as I'd hoped. Our brother is staying at our house so there isn't really the privacy needed. I'm removing this however with everything that is going on in our home right now. Unfortunately I'm not willing to discuss it further.
4) Do a devotion every morning.
5) Establish a morning routine to fit everything in.
1) 4x Runs and 2x Cross Training
I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!!
I need to focus on my physical health. I LOVE running. If you didn't know that, clickity click that little tabby in the balloon over there >>>>>>>> that says running! I have to plan to get this in with two kids and a ful time job, but it is well worth it! I've cut my cross training back to twice a week. I did some research and with as much running as I'm trying to get in and I do yoga twice a week, 4 gym sessions aren't really necessary. Although I'd still like to get there!
2) Run 5km under 35 minutes
I've managed to meet my goal of running a 5km under 40 minutes but I'd really like to shave off that little bit extra. I start with speedwork this's going to kill since my weekly km is not where I'd like it to be BUT I can't wait to achieve this!
3) Finish sewing
I have a few items of clothing that have little niggles that need sorted out. I HATE sewing and have been putting this off forever! But I NEED my clothes so it is important I get this done!
4) Do a devotion every morning.
I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!!
I have found an awesome daily devotional delivered right to my inbox! So excited to try it out for a few weeks. Will let you guys know all about it!
5) Establish a morning routine to fit everything in.
I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!!
Winter is quickly approaching here and it will be getting lighter later. I need to soak up the opportunity to run in the am while I still can. I need to establish LJ into a feeding routine that allows me to get out the door in the morning. Come winter, I will crosstrain in the morning and run in the afternoons. LJ is eating at my run time right now so I need to get him moved back by about an hour! (We've successfully moved back 30 minutes! Hopefully we can secure the hour by the end of the week!)
So, there you have it! Those are MY goals for the week ahead!
What about you?! What are you setting out to do?! 
Link up and let us know! 
By the way, if you decided to link up with us today (THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!) we just ask that you follow good 'blogging manners' & do the following itty bitty things....
1) Please use the button (see sidebar) and/or link back to Jenn's or Jessica's blog- or both!
2) Pretty, pretty please follow Jessica  & Jenn! It helps us get to know you better! Plus, we love having new friends!
3) Jump around! Go have fun and meet some new friends! Maybe you'll find motivation in someone else post OR perhaps you'll be able to offer them some encouragement. We have some wonderful ladies linking up with us so I'd encourage you to get to know them! 

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