Organized Chaos

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Hasie Park

I told you here that I’d post about the ‘Hasie park.’
Hasie is Afrikaans for rabbit.
It is a free park close to where Ma lives.
And boy do they have some rabbits….

But also a lot of other animals!

When Ma told us about it, I couldn’t wait to take Lil Mister! So while there over Easter, we gathered friends and made a trip. It isn’t huge and only took us about an 45 minutes at a very casual stroll to loop the entire park. But we had a blast….and loved everything we saw! 

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Monday, 29 April 2013

LJ turns 4 months!

I can’t believe it but LJ turned four months old this past month!! It seems like just yesterday I was heading to the hospital. He is growing up so quickly and making sure we know it! He’s developed quite a little voice on him and makes his wishes well known now. Though he definitely isn’t a crying baby. Typically if he cries he is either VERY hungry (he doesn’t even really cry when he is hungry!) or he has a big wind stuck in him (this is more likely!). 

I figured I’d better commemorate this time to all of you lovely readers and let you in on our four months!! ;-)

Weight:  A whopping 7.6kg!! He was 3.2 at birth so he is growing quite well and averaging a 275 gram weight pick up each week! He’s a chunky monkey and loves his milk ;-)

Eating:  He’s got tonsillitis at the moment (poor little man!) but is a trooper. His eating took a big spurt about 2 weeks back and has since dropped off. He barely eats anything from 7 am until I get home at 5:30 pm. Probably 5 oz max! This worries mommy a lot. But he makes up for it in the evenings and is basically glued to the breast! We’ve started solids!!! I find this time so so exciting and could barely wait! I’ll post more about this another time but he eats very nicely!

Breastfeeding: We’ve made the four month mark and I’m so proud! There have been some ups and down for sure but breastfeeding has been wonderful. He is a booby monster in the evenings and just wants to be curled up with mommy the whole time! ;-) His favorite position is laying facing each other on the bed with my legs curled up around him. He likes the tight closeness!

Teeth: Oh….oh! Yea he has started in this category. At first I thought he was only cutting into the gums but those teeth are pushing straight through. He handles it well though and has some awesome teething toys. His favorite though isn’t a teething toy at all! It’s a stuffed giraffe that hangs from his gym. Its legs are nice and loose and he gets super excited when he sees this toy!

Sleep: This child hates sleep!! I swear he sleeps about an hour from 6:30am until 8:30 pm. Usually he sleeps right through the night but the teeth are definitely waking him up. He just wants to nurse for comfort until the pain passes.
It's 9pm...I should be asleep!!

Clothes and Nappies: He is in a size 3 nappy. Clothes is 3-6 months but he is already pushing into the 6 month category! I don’t think we’ll make it until 6 months! We need to do winter shopping asap…(Not that mommy complains ;-])

Bath: He LOVES bath time…if Lil Mister is with him! Yea, it’s just easier to bath them together and they both have more fun this way. Lil Mister is so good with his little brother and helps wash him too. LJ watches EVERY thing Lil Mister does and has such fun making bubbles in the water with him!

Milestones: According to charts, he is doing great. Some fun ones for us have been:
He found his feet and hands. He loves trying to get those toes to his mouth and                         spends lots of time talking to his hands!

He is rolling over. It’s non-stop. Put him on the ground or flat on the bed and he                              rolls! We have a lot of fun with this game!

He is trying to sit up. This child should have rock hard abs with how hard he is                               trying to sit!

He reaches out for us. I love this. When his daddy comes home, he just leans                                and sticks his little hands out. He loves his daddy so much!

Otherwise….he is our bundle of joy.

With both kids sick this week, I’ve had some ‘awe’ moments. Lil Mister insists that LJ watch Cars with him and LJ seems to enjoy this. My camera was dead so I missed the moment but it is engraved in my mind….Lil Mister sits on the floor holding LJ’s hand watching ‘Wight Queen.’

LJ is completely in love with his nanny! It makes going to work so much easier knowing he is so happy with her. She is spoiling him though. It breaks her heart if he cries so he is NOT allowed to cry. He is her little blue eyed boy for sure!

Winter is approaching and with how we battled with Lil Mister at this age I’m very thankful that LJ won’t be getting in and out every day in the cold. Nanny has been a blessing!

Mommy Review

Cravings:  I think this has something to do with the breastfeeding because I want sweets like all.the.time! Luckily, we have begun harvesting citrus on the farm…so I have a never ending supply of navels, Valencia’s, Mandarin’s, nectarines, and Caracara’s. It suffices!! ;-) Also, I love adding fresh lemon to my water! That helps to curve the cravings!
Dislikes: Teething! It has messed up my whole sleep routine!

LikesWatching my boys together. Lil Mister loves his younger brother and you can easily see LJ is in awe of Lil Mister. LJ laughs and smiles all the time when he sees Lil Mister

Weight:  I’m pretty much at ideal weight. I just need some serious toning!

Physically: As I said…toning!! It is my main focus. The winter is upon us here and it has put a major cramp in my running. It is too dark in the mornings and if Hubby is even 5 minutes late in the evenings I risk being in the dark then too. So….home training is where it is at baby!!
Emotionally:  I’m doing okay. The medication the doctor has me on helps, as long as I take it. I take one in the morning right when I get up and by the time I’m out of the shower my anxiety is gone. It I miss this pill….well our mornings are more like a tornado strike. Depending on how the day goes and how much coffee I’ve drank I will sometimes take another pill in the mid morning to get through, but  I try to avoid this as much as possible. The pill I take right before I leave work is the most important. I want to get as much out of my evenings with my family as possible and I need to do that without facing a panic attack because LJ is hungry, Lil Mister is thirsty, dinner is on the stove, laundry needs put away and school bags need packed. LoL Overall…it’s an uphill battle!

Siblings : Lil Mister is great! He hates it if LJ cries and immediately will tell me I must pick LJ up. He is constantly worried about LJ and asks for him as soon as I pick him up from school!! He tells me he loves LJ and that they are best friends! Breaks mama’s heart!

Here is a bit of a picture dump…..


My first time in the Jolly Jumper!
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Friday, 26 April 2013

Saturday Nights and Rugby Lights

Hubby Dearest started playing rugby!!

I am super proud of him and of course want to support any decision he makes towards our family living a healthy lifestyle.

But mostly, I love seeing him do something productive that is for himself!!

Naturally, we went as a family to support his first game!
We weren't sure if he'd play the first game but...
And even better...he scored a try!


Photo Dump!

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Sad to see his Papa walk away!!

"I should be sleeping!"

Watching Papa play!

Being friendly ;-)

Knocked out!!

Thursday, 25 April 2013

There is Light at the End

Disclaimer: This is long...and I rant.

I can’t believe it. Last night was like heaven…..for the most part!
Before I even got home I was apprehensive. I knew, in my mind, what was in store for us.

We left late from the farm and so I was already a little bit worked up.

My time between getting off work and Lil Mister going to bed is so busy and cramped…I absolutely hate it if I’m rushing on top of that!

I stopped by Hubby Dearest to give him money to just pick up eggs and bread before coming home from work and then got Lil Mister from school.

At school, the aftercare teacher (who is a friend of ours mom!) is complaining that I pick Lil Mister up too late in the evenings. Apparently, she is only supposed to work until 5:15 and I’m usually there between 5:20 and 5:25. I understand that now we’re approaching winter and she is alone at the school with the kids and it is getting dark. It isn’t safe….but there really is NOTHING I can do.
I feel like she thinks I’m out gallivanting after work and then just rock up whenever to get my son. Let me assure EVERYONE that!
I WORK until 5pm. That means we shut down our computers and lock the offices at 5 pm. Not 4:55. Not even 4:58. 5pm! So by the time you do that and get to your car it is about 5:05…praying one of the directors or someone else on the farm doesn’t need a last minute chat with you about who knows what (because half the time when this happens you’re talking and I’m thinking about going home…I see your lips moving but I don’t hear a thing!).
The drive from work takes 15 minutes…if…IF there is not traffic (i.e. giant truck driving half the speed limit refusing to let anyone pass!).
Do the math…if everything goes perfect and I leave on time I can only guarantee I’ll be there by 5:20.
Okay on with the subject….

We go home…Lil Mister is good. LJ is happy and Mommy is defrosting some frozen, precooked bbq chicken to go with the eggs I’d planned on making.
Hubby comes home….without a grocery bag.
We greet…I ask where’s the groceries….
Silence and wide eyes is all I get.
He proceeds to realize that he left it SITTING OUTSIDE HIS WORKS DOORS.
I mean seriously people. SERIOUSLY.
Vin jumps on his bike and goes to see if its there….
Wha wha wha…it’s gone.
I’m in tears. It is 3 days before payday and that was literally like the last money we had!! I’m not rich here. I cut things to the T every month!! It is how it is.
Furiously, I manage to microwave some potatoes to make mash and heat up some veggies on the stove and whip together a quick gravy

Harsh words were exchanged. Guilt accusing glances were given. And the next 30 minutes were a bit uncomfortable.
Needless to say, we could have handled it better.
All along…Lil Mister is an angel.

I’m in panic mode as I dig for change to buy a last loaf of bread! Anger is welling inside of me.

As we’re eating, Hubby receives a phone call. A co-worker had seen the bag afterwards and picked it up for him. He’ll get the food today.

Emotions flood. I’m relieved. I’m happy. I’m praising God!

Then it hits….

Why didn’t I do that to begin with?

Yes it was our last money. Yes it was a silly mistake. Yes it was stressful. But why did I immediately switch into ‘Shana must make a plan mode’ rather than trusting that GOD was making…had a plan!! I immediately am questioning why is this happening? What am I to do? Where are we going to get money to get us through now?

Instead…I should have been saying ‘God, this is your plan. What do I need to know here? I know you’re going to provide for us.’

And even though I doubted and questioned…He did provide for us!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34
The rest of the evening went better. The kids bathed. Lil Mister was so cute blowing bubles in the water and sharing his fishes with LJ. Afterwards, LJ fell right asleep and we settled down to have tea.
I thought the fight was coming. The moment he saw that sippy cup he curled his toes and refused it. But it ended there. Instead he drank my tea from my cup and laid down with Hubby Dearest.


No fight. No tears. Nothing!
About 20 minutes later, Hubby put a nappy on him and carried him to his bed. He stayed there, asleep, until about 4 am!!

He then woke up…screamed a little for milk.
He got in trouble for swearing :-/
Went back to his bed where he continued to cry for about 30 minutes.
I finished feeding LJ and heard he had gotten quiet so I went back to sleep.
At 5am I stood up to go shower and checked on him.
He was lying in his bed very well behaved with his Barney.
He asks to watch cartoons.
I turn them on for him and we continue our morning peacefully.

He eats, gets dressed, brushes teeth and we go to school!!

I am so proud of him! The whole night without any problems!!!!

On a side note:
This lil guy DID not want to wake up this morning. Here he is fighting it!

The WHAM I'm awake and ready to go Mommy!!!

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TT- A Second Chance Tomorrow

I tick my pen as I count down the minutes.

5 o’clock can’t come quick enough in my eyes. I have things to do. Dinner needs cooked, kids need love, attention, and a bath, and laundry needs put away.

That precious hour and a half I have on Thursdays between the time I get home and the time Hubby Dearest leaves for rugby practice is often lost in a blur of commotion.

Once Lil Mister is finally in bed and LJ is calm in his rocker….I feel the pangs of mommy guilt tugging at my heart.

Did I give Lil Mister enough positive attention this evening? Should I not have played with him more? Does LJ know he is loved just as much as Lil Mister? Maybe I should be more patient during feedings?

The list goes on. I drag myself around the house as I tidy up and pack bags for tomorrow.

I hear the couch calling my name as I wait for the time to pass. Hubby Dearest should be home soon. I need to heat up his food.

My heart weighs heavy as I review the days events and see the holes where I could have done more, been more, seen more…loved more.

I’m only human I tell myself. I will make mistakes.

They know I love them.

I lay my head on my pillow that night, the list of things left undone railing through my mind like a freight train steaming onward in the wake of darkness.

I do not like falling asleep in guilt.

Tonight….tonight when I lay my head down I will focus on the moments I was involved. I will focus on the joys I did experience. I will focus on the life I lived rather than the parts I missed.

Tonight, I will love myself for being the best I can be and thank God for a second chance tomorrow. I will thank God for my do-over.

This post is written in response to Jenn’s,  from SomethingClever2.0, Theme Thursday topic; summer vacation.

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