Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Tall, Dark and Handsome

I often wonder about the ‘standards’ 
modern media is setting up for us. Especially movies and books.
Now I’m a book girl. I like my TV and have a few shows I follow almost religiously, but nothing beats curling up on the couch with a good book in my hand (or on the computer for that matter ;-]). The way the authors talented words tantalize the tip of my tongue keeps me grasping for more. I love watching the scene fold out in front of my eyes as my imagination is put to work envisioning 3D from the flat papers I hold.
I’m enticed at the way the author draws us in to the characters causing my emotions to ride right along with the events these now new ‘people’ are experiencing. The anticipation to find out ‘what next’ almost overwhelms me.

I digress, it seems so easy to create the almost perfectly flawed life in the movies and books today.
Perfectly flawed you ask?
Why yes. It is quite obvious that as a society we are not so interested in real, pure perfection anymore. We cannot relate to that, but we still crave that which will take us to the next dimension allowing us to envision a life....just more than what we have.
But what is this doing to our expectations?

I’m blessed to have a wonderful and loving husband. He understands my need for assistance in the house and with the kids and knows my desire to be successful outside of the home. It doesn’t hurt that he is gorgeous too ;-)

Then I read.....Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, Crossfire series. Hmm....they’re yummy. I have to admit. They’re ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ right?

Each book depicts a male egomaniac. He is darn right sexy from top to toe. For the most part, rich and able to supply the woman with absolutely all her wants. They’re smart....ridiculously so considering their looks. And....they’re dark. In their own mysterious way....each male character starts out with that mystery that ties our insides into knots. We’re too curious to not want to know more.

To make it better (or worse!) each one has this undeniable romantic side intertwined and laced with their dark nature. They aren’t graveling at our feet and throwing their $2000 jackets over rain puddles...but they are whisking their girls off to romantic getaways/honeymoons and coming to their rescue when most needed and least likely!

And just on que....each one drops the girl. It’s always for her best interest. It’s always necessary and it makes us hate them and love them all at once.

Their unruly hair, their perfectly sculpted bodies and undoubtedly mad skills in the sack put them over the top....untouchable. say the least.

Yet, they’re imperfect. They’re monsters in their own ways. They have secrets...abuse...failures... all the things to make them more... well real. And the girl is helpless in their drawing powers. She’s always their saving grace. Making them better. Making the dark...brighter.
She is average...for the most part. Beautiful but not a supermodel. She is smart but a hopeless romantic. She is incapable of resisting them...making them even sexier. She is normal...a girl we can absolutely relate to because she is one of us. A woman struggling with the normal everyday life and striving against this magnetic field of a guy in a desperate grasp at her own female independence. She is a strong woman. She is a capable woman. And she is devastatingly easily heart broken. She is irrational (hmm...ring any bells) yet somehow seems to be the one with all the normalcy (touching on something at home!). Despite her jealousy or her desire for him...she is the one who is well....grounded!

It’s all just too much. And I love it. I’m helpless...I’ll read them over and over again. It isn’t about vampires or sex or’s about the idea that he can be flawed and yet still be everything. But what is the everything? Is it the money or his sexiness? Is it is dark nature yet his undeniable romance? Is it his desire for her trumping all else?

How real is this though?

Let’s face it....I love Hubby Dearest and we’re both flawed...but not in the since of the books. We’re not abuse victims or secret killers of the night. We aren’t insanely rich throwing money to make our problems go away. And he can’t whisk me off to a foreign island away from the kids for an entire weekend while sipping frozen margaritas and eating my weight in chips and salsa all the while being subdued into a stupor of sated pleasure, endlessly enjoying each....oh sorry.

Back to topic.

He is real though. We can loose our tempers when the day has been too long. And he can just hold me at night when the cold gets too much. He can take a crying baby or make a wonderful dinner. He can sweep a floor while I drink a cup of coffee or get Lil Mister dressed for school so I can do my hair.
He is insanely sexy in my eyes and loves that I love it.
I can stand in front of him having had two of his children and be proud of every line, wrinkle, fold and scar on my body because I’m more to him.
We can have a two hour pillow talk conversation or function seemingly perfectly in the kitchen without sharing a single word.
We might not share baths together so often (sorry but I don’t have a mini-hot tub as a bath...mine barely fits me alone!) but it doesn’t mean he isn’t attentive.

Yea, harsh words are exchanged sometimes. Sometimes between work, kids, colds, coughs, periods, and dinners....You just aren’t in the mood.

He knows my favorite flower, my favorite color, my favorite music and my favorite jewel. He knows my deepest desires and exactly what I want and need. He challenges me and reminds me that we have to keep moving forward even when a dark hole sounds better. He is my children’s best friend and Oh My Word can he braai a mean pork chop.
He talks to me about God and prays for me each night before bed. And every now and then...he even surprises me. All because he loves me.
It’s really that simple.
It’s that love...that choice that we’re going to go at another day...together.
It’s that desire he has for me that after two children hasn’t left.

He’s my perfectly flawed reality and I love it....

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Shana Danae..

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