Where I'm meant to be...

I absolutely love this quote.

Simply put…I feel it is a motto for when my life gets difficult here.

Sometimes I’d love to say that moving to South Africa has been the easiest thing in my life because I know it is where I’m supposed to be. But that isn’t always the case. The ideal that I am exactly where God wanted me….it sometimes isn’t the comfort I’m looking for.

I haven’t been home in over 4 years. It isn’t that I do not miss my family because I do in a BIG way. I just cannot afford the travel to go back home. For my husband and two kids and myself…it will cost almost what I earn in an entire year! I know so many people say, then I should just go back alone…but my family has NEVER met my husband and they’ve never met my children. I’m not going to feel okay with traveling back without them. My family needs to see my family, meet them and experience them and us together to finally get closure on why I’m not there.

I feel that if I travel back home alone…they won’t relate why I’m not there and they will still feel like my family isn’t…real.

So, for now, we bide our time while waiting until the day God allows us to travel back.

But the reality is, God called me to South Africa. Originally, I thought I was called to be a missionary here. But I quickly learnt that I still had a lot of growth in my walk with God before I was prepared for that. I had planned the trip and everything when God sent me spinning. I talk about meeting Hubby on my The Boys page. Read all about it! ;-)

Life is life and no matter what there are going to be days where it is just hard. There are going to be days where we question what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. And I am no exception.

Then I read this quote.

See, as you’ve read…I knew. Let me pause here. I knew that I would be coming to South Africa. The Holy Spirit built up such a passion in my soul for this country. I couldn’t stop talking about it for almost a year. There was not a single ounce of doubt that I would leave my home to come here. What I was unaware of…was that it would be forever.

But, I’ve always tried to listen to the Spirit. When I met Hubby Dearest….I realized that my plans were changing. And each time I’d talk about coming here…I’d say that I was going to be here just a little bit longer. Until…I moved. And that was the end of it. I’ve never looked back.

Does that mean that sometimes I don’t wonder ‘Why in the HECK did you bring me here God?’ Besides my gorgeous hubby and two amazing children! Why couldn’t I have had them back home?

It gets hard…really hard. And I miss my parents….and my friends…and my culture and my people. I miss the familiarity because even after 4 years…I’m still sometimes an outsider.

Then I read this quote.

And it all makes sense. My husband needed me here to fulfill his calling in the Lord. He isn’t there yet…but you know what…he is getting there. I have every bit of faith in him and the Lord. Hubby Dearest is going to a men’s camp this weekend and the Lord has told me to pray. Because big BIG things are happening in Hubby’s soul. There is a war waging for my family and we’re on the winning side people!

So….my greatest happiness is with my family. Plain and simple. There is nothing in this world* that can give me more happiness than my husband and children….and that my friends is where the worlds greatest hunger is. It may be that in our lives we only touch one other family, but that is where God needs us in this world….therefore

I cannot and will not and have not ever regretted, despite all the longing, that I moved to South Africa.

*I say this world because God gives me the ultimate happiness but He is not of this world.