MHO Monday Mingle #6 GOALS

Before I go all 'get your head in the game' on you....let me just address a small concern that seems to have overwhelmed the blogosphere!!
Yes...Google Reader is closing shop. No....it is not the end of the blog-orld!! 

Please...jump over to bloglovin and read me there. You know you want to. Just clickity-click that little button!! 

A weekly questioner with Funny Postpartum Lady and Story of a Girl!!

This Week's Theme: Goals

1.  Do you believe setting goals are important in life?
100%!! You can check out a weekly link up I'm in on Mondays for goals here. I am obsessed with goals and find myself setting them constantly. I love the structure and drive it presents to my life!

2.  Do you set time tables for your goals? If so is there one goal you are determined to meet in 2013?
Absolutely!! Each goal is broken down for me into smaller sections. I plan to run my first half by December of this year. I have it broken down into smaller goals of a 5km in April and building up from there with multiple levels.
I set daily goals, weekly goals, and monthly goals. I don't believe in todo lists....their goal lists!

3.  Are there any past goals that you are proud to announce you have met?
I wanted to be able to run a 5km in under 40 minutes within 3 months of LJ being born....He turned 3 months on Friday and I did it! 38:26!!!

4.  If you have children, are you teaching them about, and helping them make goals for the future?
Yes, I have two small boys. They're still to young to understand the concept of goals....Lil Mister is now 2 years old. Rather I teach him about continuing to try and not give up. I feel that is the basis for any good goal habits. When we practice throwing a rugby ball for instance...I cheer him on even when he misses and continuously say let's do it again!

5.  Do you have a bucket list? have you started to work toward any of the goals on it yet?
Of Course!! ;-) You can check it out here!!!

Okay, now it's your turn. Grab the button and questions and repost on your page!!! You don't have to answer the questions, you can just repost the button on your sidebar or in a post. Link your page or post up and mingle with other bloggers!!! No rules, just meet new people

Shana..

Fitness Friday {week 11}

I haven't got a lot to say this week....there is a lot going on at home that is affecting me and has thrown me right off my game. SO here is a quick recap and a look into what I want to achieve.

I've said before running is like therapy for me. When it becomes too much, I can hit the pavement and work it out. That seems to have halted. A lot is going on emotionally and even running just seems to be one.more.thing.

I hate this. I know that is a strong word...but running is suppose to be a release. It has nothing to actually do with running that I've hit a wall...it's me and my mind right now.

I need focus and nothing..NOTHING I do gets me out of my head. I'm praying constantly that relief comes, but each day it is like the load gets heavier.

My future currently lies in someone else's hands. Their decision affects the lives of me and my children forever. This is putting me in a dark place. I do not like to feel so out of control. So...I've been sitting and waiting. I'm waiting for a sign as to which direction they will go. I've been waiting for words that have failed to arise. I wait in silence hoping that my WANTS for the situation will magically come forth.

I'm tired....of waiting...of hurting...of questioning.

So, I ran yesterday. (It didn't rain for a change!)

I went out for a slow, easy 5 km run. I got to the T-junction that loops me back to my house to finish my 5 km. Here is a decision point...one I don't normally think to much about. I can go forward and take the long way and do my 5 km or I can turn right and cut it short to 4 km. The thing about the short path...it hurts a little more. There is a hill. Not a big one...I can see the top of it, but it is enough to let my calves feel it. 

This time the decision struck me. I stood there looking at these two paths as if they're where I sit now in life. I could go forward...continuing on my easy path I've choosen in silence and battle out what I'd already set in mind. Take it for the long haul....

Or. Or I could cut it short knowing it is going to burn a little more and open up. I can voice up say what I want and let the cards fall where they may.

I chose the shorten path. And yes....my calves felt it a little more. But you know what else...I saw other runners. I never see them on my other forward path. Yesterday, I saw them. They saw me. It was like they were battling just as I was.....maybe.

Photo courtesy Google: My Motto for the coming week

Recap:

March 4- March 10

Dudes and dudettes....I've been slacking. 

It's been raining. It's late in the season for rain...but it's here....every...EVERY afternoon. I still haven't gotten the morning thing down to where I can fit in a run before work...so when Hubby gets home at 5:30pm is the only chance I get. If it's raining that means no run for me...since I still don't have a treadmill. I'm dying for one but they cost about 1/4 of my monthly salary! So until we're out of debt...that is a NO GO! :-(

Here is what I managed to get done....

2x 5km runs. Both were easy and done in about 38 minutes. I'm wanting faster for my April run...but since I'm not getting out there as much as I'd like; I'll take it!

1x 4km run. This was a fast run and I was back in 25 minutes! Yea for a little bit of speed.

1x yoga day. I learnt I can get some cross training done with the littles involved. Lil Mister enjoyed trying to knock me out of my poses...I enjoyed the extra challenge holding them while he rammed me!

1x core strength train....I really need to do more of this!

Future outlook:

March 18- March 23

4x cross training (2x full body 2x core)

2x Easy runs 4-6 km

Speed: 6x400m @2:25-2:20

Tempo: 2x 1k tempo @ 6:00

10 km long run

Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!

Shana..

Pathways Forward

If you’re new here, I suggest you check out a few previous posts beginning here, then here, then here.

Okay…you’re all caught up!

If you’re a previous reader…welcome back! I’m so glad I haven’t scared you away yet.

I wish I could say my journey with PPD ended the moment I decided thought I might have PPD. It doesn’t though.

The moment I took the plunge and thought to myself ‘let’s just Google a little about PPD;’ I began a whole new world of internal struggle. (For those of you not aware…I have a love affair with Google...and coffee…and chocolate…and oh I’ll just stop there!)

The very fact that I was willing to do more research even though I had read so much about it before made me angry. In my mind if I had PPD, I would have picked up on the signs already. I started denying the possibility almost as soon as I accepted it as a possibility.

I Googled to try and prove myself wrong. I didn’t succeed.

So, my next step naturally was to talk to friends.

They know me well. They know how I normally am. They’ll know that I’m just over reacting.

I was wrong again. My friends, the lovely women that they are, assured me I needed to seek medical advice.

I was angry. (Are you picking up a theme here?)

I wish the decision was so easy from there. I’m a little bit stubborn however and fought continuously with myself. I would convince myself that there was nothing wrong with me.

Every mother goes through this, I’d tell myself. I’d think that I wanted there to be something wrong so that I had an excuse for it not being easy. I’d convinced myself that my husband would judge me if I felt I couldn’t cope.

I never told him. I never expressed that I was struggling, that I was angry, that I was scared. I kept it hidden. I got up, I worked out, I went about my day, and I cleaned, cooked, did laundry and put a smile on my face when he got home. The sad part was I wasn’t hiding it as well as I convinced myself I was.

We fought constantly. Every little thing he did set me off. I cried because he wasn’t there helping me and I wanted out the door the moment he got home. Nothing he did was good enough because it was I who was failing myself. I blamed him for me struggling and I nagged about everything.

All of this added onto some already real stress factors in our marriage created some heavy cracks.

I started seeing the fabric of my life ripping at the seams. I’m supposed to be the strong one holding us together. I finally took the plunge, secretly however.

Lil Mister was sick and needed to see the doctor to clear up a sinus infection. I made the appointment and explained to Hubby that was the reason we were going.

During the appointment, I explained to the doctor that I, too, needed a consultation that day.

I broke down. I cried and then I got angry that I was crying. I explained it all. The hopelessness of the situation. I explained that I was angry all the time. I couldn’t sleep at night and would fall asleep in the blink of an eye during the day. I described my disinterest in participating in anything. I even went as far as to describe the internal darkness I faced each day.

His answer….

Medication.

This is what I feared the most. So many women get addicted to this stuff. What if I end up like them? What if I end up one of those moms washing down her tranquilizers each day with a double shot of whiskey? I envisioned my hair standing on end, clothes tattered as I rocked back and forth in the corner of my bathroom because my pills had run out…..

This was the irrational side of me coming through again. The doctor saw the fear in my eyes. He reassured me it was a low dosage and that I would HAVE to make a monthly appointment for the first 3 months to track progress and every 6 months there after.

Journaling, he said, would be a great idea. It would keep me in the realm of how I’m progressing. I can’t take back what is already written, therefore, writing exactly how I’m feeling whether rational or irrational would give me a track record of whether I’m improving, falling back, or staying level. It would also help me to identify triggers.

That was a month ago…….

Just a little humor to lighten the mood

If any of this sounds even slightly familiar, please clickity click a few of the links below. Some are blogs, some are just information.
And please don’t feel alone!
Postpartum Progress
Surprising Symptoms
Ivy's PPD Blog
First Time Mom and Dad
PPD to Joy

If you just want to talk to someone...I'm up for that too! Send me a little email or drop by my twitter! I'd love to chat with you about everything and anything. We'll have a cuppa (or a bottle of wine ;-) through our virtual cafe!

Shana..

Making Bubbles through Chemistry

A few weeks back at church, one of the Sunday school teachers had this amazing creative play for the toddlers to do! Not only did it strike their imagination, but it worked on their fine motor skills as well.
Needless to say, Lil Mister was entranced immediately! He LOVED what they were doing.
What followed was days of him requesting to 'maak bubbles?'
I finally succumbed to his puppy eyes. Actually, I'd been dying to do it again as well but just hadn't gotten around to it.
It's quite a simple idea that you can do with supplies right in your kitchen!!

What you'll need:
1 or 2 small medicine droppers
4 small tupperware bowls
Vinegar
Baking soda
Food coloring
Paper Plate



Beginning the fun!

Start by placing a little bit of vinegar (just a couple of tablespoons) in four small tupperware dishes. Something similar to a petri dish. Then add a couple of drops of food coloring to each. I stuck with primary colors. I made a red, a blue, a green, and a yellow.
Put a cup of baking soda in the middle of your paper plate.
Your child will take the dropper to place the colored vinegar onto the baking soda. It then creates the 'bubbles' as it mixes.

It is so simple and created a good 30 minutes of play time! The food coloring stains so be sure to wear old clothes.
Eventually Lil Mister was tired of putting the vinegar on the paper plate and switched. He added the baking soda to the cups and watched in boil over. This was the best part!!

It hardens so if you lay it in the sun then you can flip it off the plate later to save.
I carefully turned ours over and let it fall from the plate into my hand. I put a LOT of glue on the back side and returned it to the plate.
An hour later it was secure. I wrapped it in glad wrap and stored it until I can find a nice frame! ;-)

Shana..

Lekker Afternoons

Last Thursday was just a lekker day in my house. I can’t really translate lekker, although it does have a direct translation. It is more of an experience here in South Africa. You have to feel the word ;-)

So if you will allow me, I’ll let you in on the key to lekker!

I had everything done Wednesday night before we went to bed. When I woke up Thursday morning, I was very relaxed. I showered, got dressed and got Lil Mister dressed. We relaxed while having our coffee and tea. Lil Mister constantly wants to drink our coffee so we have a mug for him now and make his own tea. He feels he’s big now!

After dropping Lil Mister off at school, we headed into work.

The day was relaxed with everyone. There was a directors meeting on the farm and the Tannies were making HEAVENLY food in the kitchen. The best part about this is we get lots of taste tests! ;-)

I scored a ride home with some people of the farm early and grabbed Lil Mister from school. He was in a GREAT mood and had slept like an angel. I knew I was in for a good afternoon with him. He even went the whole morning without any accidents! EVERY TIME HE WENT IN THE POTTY!

It seems silly but potty training wasn’t that big of a deal for us. It went quickly and easily. But he still has some bad days. There are days were he REFUSES to use the potty and other days he is a big boy the whole day!

I got home to LJ who was good all morning and very relaxed. After LJ’s nanny left, I fed him on the bed. It is a bed low to the floor. I have two of them that match for when the boys are older! He fell asleep while eating so I packed the pillows around him and left him to rest.

Lil Mister and I headed outside. It was a HOT day. So…..

Water play it was!! He LOVED chasing me with the hose. We ran up and down the yard for almost an hour before he finally was ready to move onto something else. By that point, I was beyond soaking wet!

Therefore….it was only logical to spin circles to dry off!



This is his 'I think we've spun enough' face



Then we played hide and seek. I can’t believe how quickly his imagination is growing!

LJ then woke up and….

ROLLED OVER!!!

I was so excited I started smsing everyone! I couldn’t believe it. I’ve only gotten him to roll from back to belly once since then but he has just about mastered rolling from his tummy to his back! And he loves it! He giggles every time. He is also a pretty big fan of tummy time.

He likes to check the world out and this gives a whole new view. I think he will crawl sooner than Lil Mister did because he is always trying to see where Lil Mister is.

I can see in LJ’s eyes how much he loves Lil Mister. They are truly best friends already.

Hubby Dearest was just a little late from work because they had a HUGE promotion to prepare for. I threw some chicken breast in the oven with a little bit of chakalaka and onion and peppers. I should have gotten photos because it was divine!

While that simmered in the oven, I had more time to play. The other kids in the complex were home by now so we moved out front and I played with LJ while the tyrants entertained themselves. They behaved so well. They played until Hubby got home.

He took the boys while I whipped together a fresh salad. After dinner, we all curled up on the couch and watched a movie and relaxed the night away.

It seems strange that such a simple day would bring me so much joy, but these days aren’t everyday.

Most mornings are shrouded in a haze of flying clothes, packing lunches, and running late out the door.

Afternoons are spent switching which side LJ is cluster feeding from, frantically throwing dinner together, and trying to keep all the kids from breaking something (or each other!).

And evenings pass so quickly that by the time baths and bedtime stories are done I’m ready to pass out.

I praise God for the simple days filled with play and laughter!

MHO Monday Mingle

Welcome back to the Monday Mingle!

Hosted by

Funny Postpartum Lady & Story of a Girl

This Week's Theme: HIGHSCHOOL

 

This Week's Questions:

1. What was your favorite memory in HIGHSCHOOL?

I would say either sports or Lauren. I absolutely LOVED the times I spent riding in the bus to and from games, the early morning practices and the Saturdays spent putting our hardword to play.

But, Lauren was my cherished one in school and not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about her.

 

2. If you could do one thing over in HIGHSCHOOL, what would it be? 

I don't think there is enough space in this blog for that. But if I had to focus on one thing, I would have stayed away from the "wrong side of the tracks." I got involved with a lot of people and a lot of things that I shouldn't have and it let my life way off track. I wish I would have focused more on my studies instead of parties.

 

3. Did you have a HIGHSCHOOL sweetheart? Do you still keep in contact with him?

I did and no....enough said. Sorry!

4. Have you attended a HIGHSCHOOL reunion yet? If so, how was it? If not, what do you think it will or could have been like?

Not yet.....haven't been out of school long enough lol!!

 

5. Do you think you were popular in HIGHSCHOOL?  Do you think if you went back now it would be the same or different? Feel free to post any pictures of you from highschool.

I floated between crowds. Looking back no one was really 'popular' like you see in the movies. However, yes there was the in-crowd, the in betweens, and the not so much ones. I was an in-between> I had a very vast variety of friends!

Okay, now it's your turn. Grab the button and questions and repost on your page!!! You don't have to answer the questions, you can just repost the button on your sidebar or in a post. Link your page or post up and mingle with other bloggers!!! No rules, just meet new people!

Next week's theme: GOALS

Shana..

5 for Five

Do you tend to set goals only to see them slide down your priority lists? Do you want to make your goals each week to create a better more efficient you?
Do you want to start making goals?
Monday is the day for {5 for Five} with Jenn and Jessica! This link up allows you to come and share your top 5 goals for the week ahead. Link up with us and share what you accomplished last week AND what goals you're setting for yourself the week ahead.  (Still need a little clarification? That's okay! Check out Jessica's summary of the link up here!)

So....I have an obsession with planners, journals, logs, and goals. I feel the insanity of it all is what keeps me sane! With all that I do (and don't do!), it's a great idea if I share some of my weekly goals with you and how I 'attack' them in my daily life. Goals are the structure to my life! { 2 for 5} 1) 4x Runs and 2x Cross Training 2) Do at least two structured activities with Lil Mister- we totally knocked out some awesome activities...we practiced cutting, we made a tent, AND we baked cookies again ;-) We're currently working on a surprise gift/card for Ouma's birthday. 3) Run 5km under 35 minutes- I've got this goal on lock! I can't wait to start my speedwork and get a little faster. I learnt that my medical aid has an awesome tool on their website that helps me track my runs and the routes I run. Each time I log a workout I'm entered for a chance to win a trip to the Berlin Marathon! ;-) 4) Do a devotion every morning. 5) Establish a morning routine to fit everything in.   1) 4x Runs and 2x Cross Training I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!! I need to focus on my physical health. I LOVE running. If you didn't know that, clickity click that little tabby in the balloon over there >>>>>>> that says running! I have to plan to get this in with two kids and a ful time job, but it is well worth it! I've cut my cross training back to twice a week. I did some research and with as much running as I'm trying to get in and I do yoga twice a week, 4 gym sessions aren't really necessary. Although I'd still like to get there! 2) Wash my face every night This is going to probably seem a little obvious but I have a terrible habit of NOT doing this. I'm doing great at my night time routine. The kitchen is cleaned, lunches made, and bags packed every night before bed which is making my mornings go so GREAT. So, I figured I can add something else to my routine. My skin is getting terrible because I'm sleeping with make up on. This MUST stop ;-) 3) Have a Date Night Hubby Dearest and I have such hectic schedules between work and the kids that we rarely spend time with each other. However, an awesome friend has offered to take the kids for an evening. She loves my boys and is a great auntie. So...I'm taking her up. She must just name the night she is available and I'm going to surprise Hubby Dearest! 4) Do a devotion every morning. I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!! I have found an awesome daily devotional delivered right to my inbox! So excited to try it out for a few weeks. Will let you guys know all about it! 5) Establish a morning routine to fit everything in. I've decided to keep this goal another week. I will not change a goal until I meet it 100%!! Winter is quickly approaching here and it will be getting lighter later. I need to soak up the opportunity to run in the am while I still can. I need to establish LJ into a feeding routine that allows me to get out the door in the morning. Come winter, I will crosstrain in the morning and run in the afternoons. LJ is eating at my run time right now so I need to get him moved back by about an hour! (We've successfully moved back 30 minutes! Hopefully we can secure the hour by the end of the week!)   So, there you have it! Those are MY goals for the week ahead! What about you?! What are you setting out to do?!  Link up and let us know! 

By the way, if you decided to link up with us today (THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!) we just ask that you follow good 'blogging manners' & do the following itty bitty things....

1) Please use the button (see sidebar) and/or link back to Jenn's or Jessica's blog- or both!
2) Pretty, pretty please follow Jessica  & Jenn! It helps us get to know you better! Plus, we love having new friends!
3) Jump around! Go have fun and meet some new friends! Maybe you'll find motivation in someone else post OR perhaps you'll be able to offer them some encouragement. We have some wonderful ladies linking up with us so I'd encourage you to get to know them! 
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Shana..

Fitness Friday {week 10}

Hey guys! I'm also blogging over at Believe & Inspire today! Go check it out!

What is your niche when working out? You know...that thing that gets you in the groove. Something that gives you that edge to push a little bit further.

I’ve always admired those that get out there, sans headphones and run their marathon. I used to envision them as the ‘real runners’ as opposed to those of us who I guess were just pretending out there.

In reality, we’re all real runners. Some of us just go about it differently! I, for one, cannot hit the pavement without my headphones in my ears. I’ve read all the articles telling me how dangerous it is because I’m not paying attention to my body or that I’m drowning out the background noises. For the record, I only run with one ear piece in so I can still hear the cars coming up, the people singing in their showers, or that annoying mutt of a Jack Russel that swears my ankles are made of biltong.

The music puts a pace for me to hit. It places a beat in my heart to run by. And nothing....nothing can drown out the feeling of pain. You know when you’re pushing to far. Your mind, however, will give up long before your body. So, whoever said a little distraction from myself wasn’t a good thing....I don’t think they’ve spent enough time around me!

This playlist puts me just a few second over 42 minutes. With a warm up kilometre, it puts me at a perfect pace for a decent 5km run. However, you can find tons of suggestions for some awesome playlists just by Googling 5km playlist!

Lose Yourself-Eminem

Firework- Katy Perry

Funhouse- Pink

Welcome to the Jungle- Guns n Roses

I gotta feeling- Black Eyed Peas

Eye of the Tiger-Survivor

Moves Like Jagger- Maroon 5

Where’s you head at- Basement

Boom Boom Pow- Black Eyed Peas

Waka Waka-Shakira

Recap:

February 25- March 3
This past week was a joke. I don't know what is wrong with me. I keep finding excuses. Okay...LJ is feeding when I need to leave in the morning so there is nothing I can do about that except to keep trying to move his feed back. I wake him up at 4am but he just looks at me like WT-Frack is wrong with you and goes back to sleep. Then wakes up at 4:50 and eats. To run and be ready for work I have to be out the door by no later than 5am...This isn't happening! And three days last week it was raining in the evenings so no run there. Sorry but I'm not one for coming home soaking wet :-/ Plus the whole visability with the cars and all!
Our parents were visiting again with our brothers over the weekend so cancel Friday and Saturday. Where does that leave me....
I ran 2x 5km runs in under 40 minutes which does make me happy about spped!
I got in 2x cross training but really this is sad. I could totally do more since I do this at home with the kids. I have no excuse in this category.
If I don't step it up I'm not going to be ready in April!

Future outlook:

March 11-March 17

4x cross training (4x full body)

3x 5km runs combined with 6x strides work

6 km run with 2x 10min bursts at SS

10 km ‘long run’ at a slow, steady pace (last 15 min @SS; 15 min core workout)

Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!

If you’re at all interested in what I’m doing or getting yourself back into shape can I please encourage you to check out two of my favourite mommy runners! These women love being mommies and their health and continually inspire me!

RunFasterMommy

Mommy With Her Running Shoes On

MCM Mama Runs

Shana..