So now it
is Sunday and after 10 pm and I still cannot sleep.
I’m surely
going to regret this! Lil Mister does not sleep past 5:30am very often and I
highly doubt karma is so kind as to let it be tomorrow that he does! ;-)
It doesn’t
help that I only got Lil Mister to sleep 15 minutes ago and I figure based on
LJ’s last feed he should be awake in the next 15 minutes again.
Coffee...you
are my best friend these days!
I’m still
in shock that it is already Christmas. Yes, I realize it is still another day away,
but really!
This will
be my fourth Christmas in South Africa, but I can’t seem to find the spirit
anymore. It hasn’t felt like Christmas since I moved here.
As I sit
looking at our Christmas tree, I’m taken back to all the years spent
celebrating with my family.
I miss the
cold weather. I remember tracking through the rows that never ended through the
cold and snow to find the ‘perfect family Christmas Tree.’ (Please envision the
Clark Griswold Family Christmas Tree here!)
As a child
I would fill my pockets and even stuff my coat full of the pine cones I would
find along the way. I still love the smell of fresh pine!
We’d get
home that afternoon and my mom would make hot chocolate (I’m positive now that
I’m a parent that my mom and dad’s hot chocolates were spiked with vodka;
otherwise they weren’t making it until that night!) and we’d listen to
Christmas music while decorating the tree.
Really
cheesy but that is what we did EVERY year!
I can’t
understand why when I enter a mall; I don’t smell that sickening sweet scent of
the roasted nuts. Nor do I feel it is right that there aren’t Christmas lights
and decorations covering the streets and houses.
There are
no night time drives to see the lights. There are no Salvation Army guys
ringing their silly little bells. We aren’t bundled up watching endless reruns
of the same Christmas movies. And there is no snow to wake up to on Christmas
morning.
I feel
like I’ve lost Christmas.
Then I
found it again.
All of the
sudden I realized how commercialized even I had let Christmas become to me.
I grew up
being taught the true meaning of Christmas and was in every single Christmas
pageant at church. I know the story by heart because it is the equivalents of
thousands of years of prophecy come true. It is the entire reason for the
season (sorry for the cheesy rhyme!).
Yet, even
I have fallen victim to Hallmarks branding over the years. As I grew older and
was able to apply the memory of scents, sounds, and images to the holiday, I
somehow lost what was truly important.
Christmas
is after all about Christ’s birth.
I know
you’re like...duh!
But how
easily I’d let that fall to the back burner while still living in the states.
I’d grown so accustomed to the hoopla of the season that I’d grown cold to the
meaning. I’d lost Christmas when I moved to South Africa because I’d lost the
meaning of it many years before that.
I’m
grateful for this now. As I sit preparing my children’s presents, I realized
how blessed we are. I’m thankful to raise my children in a way that they won’t
experience the extravaganza firsthand the way I did. I’m thankful that I will
be able to focus more on the meaning of Christmas and teach my children why we
celebrate the holiday in such a close and family oriented manner.
I’m
thankful that I had to lose my Christmas spirit to be able to rejoice Christmas
in the Spirit!
I will
still read “The Night before Christmas” to my children on Christmas Eve. And we
will continue to give presents and donate to charities during this time as
well.
But I will
take a little less time worrying about the lights on my front door and a little
more time answering questions about ‘baby Jazus’ and his ‘farm birth’.
Shana..
Merry merry Christmas Shana. So glad you have remembered the sweet gift of a savior this season. Huge hugs to you. Have a glorious holiday with your family. New follower from the hop.
ReplyDeleteFalen
www.UpwardNotInward.com