Wednesday, 5 December 2012

The Sauce of Bad Habits part 4

Disclaimer: Please take a moment now and vacate the premises of my parenting kitchen if you are in anyway allergic to obscure parenting thoughts, bullshit, venting, or overall fed-upness. (And yes that is my new word!) No children were harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally in the process of this parenting kitchen experiment!

If you’re only joining us now please read part 1, part 2, and part 3! I’m sure you’ll thoroughly enjoy it and regret it terribly if you don’t!
If you’ve made it this far then you’re doing pretty well. This isn’t a sauce you’re going to whip together in a few moments. This sauce is the product of an array of missteps over the course of your toddler’s life thus far! This is your penance for having been a softy! This is karmas revenge for all the antics you pulled on your parents. This is your lesson and you must learn it the hard way!!
Step 5) Add a little salt
Step 4 might result in some flying tempers from parents. This is the adult version of the tantrum. (Basically our result in life from getting children to not throw a tantrum is actually training them to carry out tantrums in a less physical manner!)
These tempers from parents can cause a boiling affect in the mouth. These previous four steps have now brewed and simmered and are creating an intoxicating aroma in the daily life.
This aroma pours over and becomes….F***.
That’s right. Some where along the lines of the path we’ve been walking Lil Mister has picked up on this nasty little word. Like salt it can add a little bit of flavor to a joke or a moment but overall it is an overpowering and disgusting thing.
Nothing like having a 2 year old say ‘Oh F*** it’ while standing in line at the grocery store.
In this particular sauce, we want NO SALT….once added it can be impossible to remove. You may need to go back to scratch and begin again.
However, if this bugger has crept into your sauce simply try removing it by canceling it out. Sugar works well.
Each time the word is said, we attempt to distract Lil Mister with another word. (Luckily we’re Afrikaans and there are a few words that sound similar!) If you speak English (which I assume you do because I do not have a translator on my page!) or any other language, you may need to get creative!

Step 6) Allow to cool and serve
We are working up a serving of 24/7 attachment at our house right now. Lil Mister typically wants nothing to do with Mommy at this stage (blame it on the pregnancy) and therefore turns to Daddy all the time!
He screams when Daddy leaves. He cries when going to school. Daddy must entertain him from dawn to dusk.
This allows Mommy a break right now. I miss the attachment Lil Mister had with me and relish every time I do get a kiss or a ‘my Mommy’ instead of a bite, but this allows time for the sauce to cool.
This setting period is making me aware of the taste! It is what has brought on this revelation of bad habits!
It is leaving Daddy ready to pull his hair out. It is a time which will pass. It is a time which we must savor as we attempt to break these habits!

So there you have it. That is our sauce that is brewing right now. It seems pretty simple and to be honest it was simply created by our own doing.
Now is the time for change….
Now is when we eat the sauce we’ve created…(kind of like eating your own words!)
Now we work on breaking all of these habits to create a balanced and well rounded meal of happiness!!
Hopefully I’ll have news soon…..until then…..GOOD LUCK!


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