Disclaimer: Please take a moment now and vacate the premises of my parenting kitchen if you are in anyway allergic to obscure parenting thoughts, bullshit, venting, or overall fed-upness. (And yes that is my new word!) No children were harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally in the process of this parenting kitchen experiment!
If you're only joining me now....check out part 1 and part 2!! It's a great sequence...you know 1..2..3...you get the picture!
Step 3) Thicken your liquid and spice mix to create gravy like consistency…
This liquid will make it so you need to thicken the sauce. Your thickening agent is a DIRECT result of your liquid. Therefore, we add to the removal of teats the concept of potty training!
I CANNOT and WILL NOT have two children in nappies 24/7! Call me lazy but I was one of those moms that a second child was a far future thought process. So God hit me with the book on this pregnancy! I am so excited and grateful as Lil Mister will have a brother and friend for life. However…
Two in nappies is not part of my vocabulary and not a concept I am keen to have a blog about!
Yet, as long as Lil Mister keeps drinking from that dang teat all night, I can’t get him out of nappies at night! If you’ve been following the last couple of weeks you will surely have read about the preparations for potty training here or here.
This thickening agent needs time to simmer. Once added to the pot of bad habits it will take over every thing else! You will forget you have a bitter spice of co-sleeping or a liquid of teats about to boil over. You’re main focus will be getting that wee into a potty and rewarding for doing so!
I’m prepared mentally for the simmer process. Lil Mister is progressing well at home with potty and seems to be making a new friend in the implement!
I am not prepared to still be getting up twice a night to change bedtime nappies! I know…I know! I must be patience but that bank account is almost empty! (See part 2)
The poo in the potty and the dry nights take a while longer….but it will NEVER happen if I keep giving him a teat.
You won’t get a sauce thick no matter how long you wait if you keep adding water to it! Cooking 101!
So I have to hit my Lil Mister with a double whammy. I have to take away the teat all together…..stop adding water to the mix!
Step 4) Add your ump….some chili
The only problem is that bitter spice, liquid, and thickening isn’t going to get you a beautiful sauce. You need to add something that will give it ump. You want to add flavor to a sauce. You want it to leave a nice feeling in your mouth. So we add some ass burning tantrums!!
Oh yea, imagine a sauce filled with Habanera Chili’s and jalapeño peppers. You won’t forget that too soon will you! Nope!
A tantrum is like a chili. Some degree of tantrum is an important developmental milestone for most children actually. It gives child and parents the time and circumstances to learn how to work through and communicate through unsettling situations.
It gives flavor all right….one that keeps on giving!
Lil Mister is at a difficult stage in development. And now cruel mommy refuses to lie with him every night, has taken away his teats…AND is making him sit on some weird contrapment and do his business!
Frustration is not the word. Verbal skills have not quite developed to the point of expressing anxiety towards the potty works or annoyance at the loss of his friend teat-tea. Therefore, we act out in the form of hitting, screaming, and running away. Tears flow like the Nile River and words escape that cause me to glare at Hubby Dearest in a menacing way!
This is where your sauce can become a huge, GINORMOUS mess. Like all chili’s you must only allow the exact right amount to be added. If it goes too far, it will result in you having to add more liquid. (You’ll give in and give him the teat to get some peace.) This liquid will mean more thickening. (More accidents and therefore more nappies at night!)
This process will leave your sauce bland and mean that you MUST add more bitter spice. (You’ll be so exhausted you won’t have the energy to fight the sleep and will end up sleeping the whole night in child’s bed or more detrimental….child will sleep in yours!)
All of which lead you right back to the beginning of this whole process…..
Join me next week for the last part in our Sauce of Bad Habits series!