A lot has been going on in our house lately.
I mean a LOT!
Since I began my maternity leave on December 1 it feels as if our lives have been in constant motion. Okay don't misunderstand me. I know that life continually moves and develops and progresses but it is as if someone has pressed the fast foward button and I can't keep up! I'm not sure if it was even possible this last month and a half!
Now that 2013 has begun it has caused me (like almost everyone else!) to take a moment and reevaluate our lives at the moment.
Originally this was to be the year I ran my first marathon! BUT...two pregnancies have pushed that date back a little into the unknown future! It will happen however!
There is more to it than just that though. There are many areas of my life besides fitness that have taken a back burner in the daily struggle to just keep up. Areas of my life that should have been in the front at all times.
"For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also" Luke 12:34
Our pastor has asked that as a congregation we take part in a 21 day fast. You can fast anything or everything. There are different degrees of fasting but the most important is not the type of fast you partake in but your state of heart in doing so.
Originally I had decided to skip this fast. I figured since I was breastfeeding I had already cut out so much of my diet and needed to maintain a healthy diet for LJ.
Yet, I could feel God working on my heart. I knew there were areas of my life that needed some serious attention. Mainly my marriage and my home life.
I thought by now my children would be in a nice routine. Hubby Dearest and I would be settled and I would be preparing to return to work. All the while having thrown myself full force into my training.
How naive I have been! There is NO routine in my house right now! I'm talking zip, zadda big fat NADDA! Heck, I don't even think I have a shower routine further than get clean right now! And it shows in the kids. LJ doesn't have a sleep pattern. It's either he sleeps good or not at all! Lil Mister is all over the place (especially with tantrums!) and goes to bed whenever he falls asleep and takes a nap if he is willing. There was a 3 day period in which our brother Q visited and Lil Mister ate NOTHING except ice cream, candy and chips! God help us!
And most of all my poor Hubby is getting so little of my attention. Because the kids aren't in a routine, I can never predict when I can spend time with him. Then by the time I get anything accomplished in the house another kid needs my attention and Hubby is left to his own. He deserves better from me!
1 Timothy 2:1-2 ESV / 18 helpful votes
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.
The more I looked at the state of my home life and my marriage (or what seems a lack thereof) the more I realized I needed more of God in my life. See...that too is suffering! I'm so exhausted because I'm chasing my own tail most days that I have been slipping on going to church (please let us not discuss my daily devotions :-[ ). I'm embarrassed as to how far I've slipped backwards.
So there I sat....feeding LJ (of course...I spend 50% of my time doing that!) and allowing the Spirit to work in me. Then what do I do....I take out my phone and log into my Google Reader because there are a pile of blogs that need read! I gasped...I couldn't believe what I was doing.
I'd cut off the most important person in my life (GOD!) for social media. I started thinking about it. How much time do I spend on Twitter, Facebook, Blogs a day? I realized that if you added up all the times I just "quickly" check everything I was easily on these sites 5 plus hours a day! Everytime I feed LJ I log on. Heaven forbid I miss what nonsense the Kardashians are spewing across Twitter or fail to upload a photo to Facebook. Oh and don't forget all you lovely ladies out there pounding out amazing posts day in and day out! I must be loyal to you as well!
But what is happening during this time? Nothing....Lil Mister is watching TV. LJ is feining my attention and love. Hubby Dearest is wanting a conversation. And God...well God is knocking at the door of my heart!!
So I put aside my phone and listened to God speak to my heart. How important is a healthy relationship with my husband to me? How much do I want to set an example for my children? How well can I be a mother and a wife without God's guidance?? Oh....Lord....I am so sorry. Why have I let myself get so deep?
I remember as a young teenager if I would start to become to 'obsessed' with something normally my parents would ration me off. Like when I hit 1000 sms in one month...my phone was taken. When at the age of 12 I covered EVERY square inch of my walls with Aaron Carter posters...my parents took them down and took his cd's. When I started drinking at 16... my parents grounded me.
So I thought harder about how to be more involved and structured in my home.
Then God asked again....how important is all of this to you?
The answer is easy....more than anything else in the world my family is number one. They're needs and priorties and even wants come before all else.
Then God hit the nail on the head and drove it straight into my heart. How important is social media to you? Because you spend more time and energy there than with your family. Even when you aren't online you're thinking about it. Drafting blogs in your head. Wondering about Tweets and pondering status'.
So there it was. I was going to fast. Nope not food. But social media!
I need more of God in my life and my children and husband need more of my undivided attention in theirs!
Social media isn't bad (nor is chocolate or wine!) but it does need to be rationed.
So for 21 days I am fasting. I will take 30 minutes each day to do my hops and only if both kids are asleep and Hubby Dearest is either working or asleep too!!
During this time I will not be posting or reading on Twitter or Facebook. Neither will I be on my Google Reader (I'm scared what a mess that will look like after 3 weeks!). Although I will check email because of work and it is how I communicate with my parents, I will not be reading my subscriptions!
Please if you are reading this as a follower or through a hop, I vow on all that is bloggy responding to all of your lovely comments will be my first order of buisness when I return!!
I have a few posts scheduled over the next 3 weeks so I'll still be showing up for you!!
I will be replacing my internet time with reading my Bible, praying, reading stories to Lil Mister, spending quality time with Hubby Dearest, or just enjoying a moment with LJ. This is time to recenter my focus and my family and get my priorities in line. I pray that not only will this improve my structure and quality time at home with my family but when I return it will also improve the quality of my blog!
Continue praying for us and I'll see you in 2 weeks!
(verse 6) “Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
(7) Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?"
Benefits of fasting
(verse 8) "Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9) Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
(Isaiah 58:6–9)
Shana..
No comments:
Post a Comment