Do
you ever get so busy you forget to drink something for a while? Well, I
do....especially at work! I like to get in a minimum of 8 glasses of water a
day. Ones about this size.
But
I don’t want to drink all that water at once because then I’m playing a game of
race to see who comes in first...the wee or me to the toilet! ;-0
However,
somedays I get so distracted at work that I just...forget! I make coffee when I
come in and pour myself a glass of water and then later.....well, before I know
it I go to get water and stand there drinking it down like a fish!
Today,
my desk looks like this....I think I have issues!
Speaking
of issues....I have one I need to work out. It’s called being homesick.
Ya
know, peeps, let me be honest here. I’ve been in South Africa for 1659 days and
13.5 hours. Yep, I remember it that well!
Why
do I mention this? Because....because today my heart is very heavy. Today, I’m
feeling every minute that I’ve been gone.
I
thought that it would get easier over time. I though the longer I lived in
South Africa the more I’d find that I loved here. I assumed that my life, my
family here, my work, my friends here would all envelop me and allow my roots
here to grow deep....thus effectively lessening that overwhelming sickening
need to go back.
Well,
all of those things have planted deep, deep roots here. My Hubby, my children
and my friends have secured a place in my heart that will never be eliminated.
I have grown to love certain foods here that I would miss so dearly. I love the
social atmosphere of the culture I am engrossed in and I truly enjoy my job.
I
love South Africa and this is my home now. This is what I chose and I do not
regret it for one minute.
That
doesn’t mean I don’t yearn for ‘home.’ Home as in what I’ve always known, what
is familiar, what I remember, where I’m from
As
we were walking into church a couple of weeks back, my boss (yes, we attend the
same church) said something that has really stuck with me. He said that despite
the fact that I married an Afrikaner, and regardless that my children were born
here and are being raised Afrikaans, and even if I live here for another 40
years and learn to speak Afrikaans fluently....I will ALWAYS be American.
If
I live in South Africa for another 40 year, I will effectively have lived in
South Africa more than twice as long as I lived in America! And I love this
country dearly....but he is right! I will ALWAYS be an American.
I
will most likely always have an accent to those in South Africa....funny thing
is, many American family and friends think I have a different accent from them
too.
I
will always look at how marriages should operate and how children should be
raised....just a little off from Hubby’s family.
I
will always feel a pull for the military fighting for our lives. I will always
listen to country music. And I will always be proud when I see an American
flag.
Yet,
this time of year it is even harder. Illinois is headed...is in my favorite
time of year! I believe I will always miss seeing the trees change color and
hearing the leaves crunch beneath my feet. I will always miss the bonfires and
hay rides, smores and roasted hotdogs. I will miss the trick or treaters and
the sickening amounts of candy corn!
I
already miss seeing Christmas decorations up in October and hearing the endless
ringing bells of Salvation Army volunteers! I wish I could take a group
caroling (and not in 100 degree weather) and curl up with hot chocolate next to
a fire while reading The Night Before Christmas.
I
miss the opportunity to take my kids to the Thanksgiving/Christmas parades. I
wish I could see them learn about the history and participate in the school
reproduction of the first Thanksgiving. I wonder every Thanksgiving if my
siblings watched the Macy’s Day Parade and if Dad fell asleep after turkey or
managed to stay awake for the football game! I miss the gatherings and wonder
if they are missing me too.
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| Pic Credit Who doesn't love Charlie Brown?
I’ll
always wish my family here understood the importance or personal significance
of that BIG family dinner....otherwise the effort is wasted.
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I
miss the crispness of the Chicago air as the temperatures begin to drop and looking out from the Sears tower to the
frozen edges of Lake Michigan. I miss the plays and the museums....when the
days are just cool enough to make the walks refreshing.
I
miss laying under a blanket in the corn field watching the stars at night.....I
miss the caramel apples, sticky popcorn balls, and those ridiculous strong
smelling roasted nuts they sell in the malls at Christmas time!
I
miss the bustle of the following few months. I miss seeing the children rejoice
in the first snow of the year. I miss the kindness of a stranger as your car
gets stuck in the aftermaths of a beautiful winter storm.
I
will always wish I could take my kids for the traditional cold, snowy/wet walk
in search of the perfect Christmas tree to watch Hubby cut it down and attach
it to our car. I miss the setting up of our REAL tree....singing endless
Christmas carols and drinking ourselves sick on Eggnog.
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| Pic Credit Come on...you know you watch it EVERY Christmas!
I
miss curling into my daddy’s lap with a cup of coffee or having mani’s and
conversations with my mom.
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I
miss snowmen and Merry Christmas signs. I miss neighborhoods full of lights and
racks of leftover Halloween costumes. I miss the midnight movie on Christmas
Eve and watching the ball drop in New York at midnight....not 8 am the next
day!
{pantagraph.com-
Christmas lights} {secretagentsnowman.com-snowman}
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| Pic Credit |
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| Pic Credit |
I
guess....I just miss my traditions....my culture...my normal. I sometimes feel
jipped that my children don’t experience those parts of my life. I miss my
family and our home and our memories.....
I miss America.
None
of this is truly home anymore, because you could give me all of that, but it
could never replace what I have here in my Hubby and kids. However,
today....today I’m wanting it!
XOXxx
Shana Danae..
Sending hugs to you sweetie, from home! :) Take some of those traditions and share them with the boys, it won't quite be the same but it will be good for you all. It will let the boys know the other part of their heritage which is as important as their African heritage. As always, trust in God, you know he will always be with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I plan to start teaching the boys about Thanksgiving and Fourth of July and celebrating them in small ways here!
ReplyDelete