I am NOT a breast-dummy....Please, HELP!

I’ve mentioned before that I breastfed LJ for the first 5 months. I actually would have loved to continue but, alas, my son is on his own mission in life and didn’t exactly feel it was necessary to follow his mom’s 5 step planning action!

TT- Pet Peeves

Jenn proposed a very interesting topic this week...pet peeves. I'm so excited to read what all the others say about this. Please scroll through and clickity click that Theme Thursday button to check out all the other lovelies that are participating...BUT WAIT...not until you read what I've wrote. Jeeze....how wude! ;-)

To say I was in culture shock when I first moved to South Africa is an understatement. I'm not sure if I was under-prepared, over-prepared, or completly mis-prepared.
I had studied a lot about this lovely country. I knew not to expect to see lions roaming the streets in Cape Town (unless they had just won the Curry Cup of course!) and that there were going to be lots of languages I didn't know.
I was aware that there was still a lot of racism and that we WOULD have indoor plumbing where Hubby Dearest lived (yes some places do not have this yet!).
I knew that if we got to go to a game park, I'd see lots of wild animals.
I knew that we could do grocery shopping, have cell phones, and banks. All in all...I figured it was going to be a lot like America.
Okay....I was wrong on SO many levels. But let's not dwell on that now.

 I SAID NOT TO DWELL!

Through the fog of jet lag, and the silence of not knowing what everyone is saying all the time, my eyes slowly began to open to what I'd gotten myself into!

We originally lived in the sunny area of Durban in a little town called Amanzimtoti. I loved it here and enjoyed waking up to the beach EVERYDAY.
Oh yea....that was our view!
We relaxed in the sun, ate some amazing food, and I got used to the foreign beer.
What I couldn't get used to, however, quickly became my biggest EVER pet peeve.
There are many wrong ways to state this so I am going to do it in the most appropriate way for where I currently reside. If you become offended....well then stop reading OR get off your high horse and realize we live in different societies!
The black women (yes I said it because it is a fact....white women in this country don't do this because of the cultural differences!) openly breastfeed their children in public. When I say openly, I mean as in they do not bother to cover themselves. You will be walking through a mall and a woman will sit down on a bench and pull out her breast and pop it in her kids mouth like it is a plastic bottle.
I am pro-choice and love that more and more women are returning to giving breastfeeding a try. But jeeze, I don't like boobs hanging out all over the place.
In the privacy of my bedroom (or house) when it is just my kids and Hubby and I; breastfeeding LJ is a beautiful thing I can do.
However, as I'm standing behind a counter taking your pizza order....umm...
Hello. (I'm not looking at your boobs). What can I get you today? (I'm...not...looking as I force my eyes up)......Regardless of sexual preference or gender I cannot see how the fack it is possible not to look at a boob when it is staring you in the face...I don't want to look but its just right there....
(Fack...I looked...did she see me look....dammit I looked again....oh bloody hell put the darn thing away already!)

This is where my pet peeve began. I cannot stand it if a woman breastfeeds in public without covering herself up.
If you know anything about South Africa though, you will know that rascism is still VERY strong here. Beyond what you can imagine until you live here.
It was in 2009 when I got my first management job at a restaurant. With years experience as a waitress, I was excited and ready to go for this new position. I'd only been living in SA for 8 months. I ventured out on my own and stepped across the steaming, frying, greasy threshold into the world of management...duh duh duh!
It was exciting. I took to it naturally because in all actuality I was just a glorified everybody else. I still picked up a table now and then....my tip was just usually better ;-) I spoke with the guests and could linger a little longer around a table or two. I enjoyed the sense that I was 'entertaining' my guests.
Until...oh the fateful night.
It was month end....and a Friday. We had a line stretching across the South Indian Ocean and a two hour wait. I was in the very front of house which meant in addition to my 5 waitrons and 20 tables to care for, I had the que and the que manager on my case and the cashier station. It was fack busy.
It was a Blue Bulls game....go figure. I couldn't even watch my team pummel Hubby Dearests!
Right there...in the middle of a dinner rush...it happens.
The woman at table Canyon 3 whips out her breast and pops it in. I quickly glance around. I see the older woman across from her smirk as she sips her wine and the man directly next to her gives sideways glances my way.
I break into a mini sweat. I know this is the culture but this is a restaurant people. My body clenches up as I quickly access the best approach. I decide I'm the manager and they will be reasonable people.
I calmly approach the table. I ask how everything is going this evening and assure them that their steaks will only be a few more minutes (oh yes...I did check their order before going to them!) and ask if they'd like any more to drink.
They are pleased and say no thank you. Then....
Oh the horror....
I quietly lean in to the woman and explain gently in the most professional way that her breastfeeding her child in the dining room might possibly make other guests uncomfortable and that if she'd like we have a wonderful sitting place in the rest rooms where she can feed comfortably and relaxed.....
I will save you all the gory details because this ended with my culture shocked shell in tears.
The husband, boyfriend, baby daddy uncle whoever he was screamed at me almost instantaneously. My GM came running. I was called a racist and a womanizer who was infringing on her rights.
There was swearing in Zulu and more racism talk. I was escorted to the back office and the guests were given their meal for free.
The next day...THE VERY NEXT FRACKIN DAY....head office phones. We've recieved a complaint on me. (As a manager this is the worst...it drops your monthly score and screws you for bonus!) The situation was explained to head office...but the best part....
The guests complained that the GM and I were talking about them in Afrikaans. Let me just clarify that after 4 years here I am only now speaking Afrikaans. At that point I couldn't understand two words put together in the language let alone carry on a DARN conversation in the language!....
Which leads me to my next pet peeve....RACISM and all its glory...
But I think we'll save that one for another day!


Did you like what you read....great!!! I'm so glad! Genuine...now clickity click that there button! Be a doll!! Do it once a day even!

Shana..

Jenna-Mae and Ol' Bessie

A couple of weeks back Jenn over at SomethingClever2point0 propsed a great topic for Theme Thursdays. If you haven’t read her before or linked up in Theme Thursday I suggest you do both…NOW!


Back to topic! Breastfeeding. After an interesting Twitter conversation between Jenn and I(that's me!) (see those links…its twitter…move there…now!) she thought it’d make an interesting theme. Sadly I was on my Social Media Fast when she posted this.

However, I couldn’t pass up a great opportunity so I tucked it away in my blogger folder and vowed I’d get something out there even if it wasn’t linked up!

Oh the world of breastfeeding and the heated debates and doomy death glares that come with it.

There is a part of me that thinks deeply believes that if I still lived in the States I wouldn’t have even considered breastfeeding. To be honest, breasts have always been such a sexual symbol and my lack thereof has always caused me to spend ridiculous amounts of money on pushup bras that I don’t imagine know without a doubt I would not have been comfortable with it.

I am so happy to see that so many of my friends back home have taken on this mountainous feat.

When I became pregnant with Lil Mister, EVERYONE regardless of whether they had children or not or had or not had breastfed…well they all had opinions. They proposed their opinions in such a way that it was fact being presented.

From the word go, I was bombarded with the idea of what if you can’t breastfeed!?!? It was as if it was known before we even knew the sex of our little that I would not be able to do it. I ‘mentally prepared’ myself for this fact as my grandmother had been unable to breastfeed. Between all the opinions and statements, I set myself up for failure before I even started.

When Lil Mister was born, he latched quickly in the hospital. For the first week, everything went perfectly. There were NO problems and he slept great. Then one day hit and he ate constantly….like the entire day. That night he cried himself to sleep. During this time, Hubby Dearest and MIL were insistant that my milk wasn’t enough and that he was hungry and that he needed formula. When we couldn’t wake him for his bath that night (jeeze the little guy had been awake the whole day!) I freaked and MIL went to find formula at a café. It was then decided that I could not breast feed and he would be on formula.

I cried myself to sleep. I cried the next day. I cried for the next two weeks every time my son searched for my breast when I held him. I felt that we had been neglected that experience. I felt I was a failure. I felt I’d given up.

I went back to work when my son was 6 weeks old and felt the world of judgement upon me. So many women judged me for allowing my son to take formula and others acted as if it figured that I wasn’t ‘strong enough’ to breastfeed. Some blamed it on my upbringing while others said it was my lifestyle. I constantly felt as if I was defending my feeding my child!

When I found out I was pregnant with LJ, I swore I wouldn’t breastfeed. But slowly that desire came back. Most were judgemental again. They questioned why I would even try a second time. I mean I couldn’t do it the first. However, I was already a mom and had started building up my resistant to everyone’s ‘advice.’

At first I thought I would pump from the very beginning. That way if I couldn’t do it this time around then I wouldn’t feel that sense of failure again because I wouldn’t have created that bond. But I had created a bond with Lil Mister even though I didn’t breastfeed and refused to believe that my bond with LJ would be determined by such facts.

So I thought I’d try for the first week and then switch to formula. At least he’d get the colostrum.

Then I won a pump through Advent and Living and Loving. I knew then that it was a sign from God that I needed to hold strong and do what I felt was best for my child.

I knew then that I would WOULD breastfeed until I returned to work. Then I’d pump milk during the day and breastfeed at night.

The first feed LJ had after birth was perfect! He latched and it was like it was natural…duh. Then he didn’t eat for 6 hours! I was so worried I couldn’t sleep. I asked the nurses constantly why he wasn’t eating. They assured me that he would eat when he was hungry.

Sure enough after 6 hours he ate again. Then he slept another 6 hours and ate again. Jeeze…this was great.

Then…..he started and wouldn’t stop. After 3 hours of constant feeding I got him to sleep 30 minutes. Then he started again. 3 hours and 30 minutes sleep. Finally on the second day at midnight I went to the nurses station crying, completely exhausted. I couldn’t do it. My milk wasn’t good enough. He was so hungry all the time!

I’d failed….or so I thought.

The amazing nurse came to my room. She checked the latch and my flow. Everything was perfect. LJ however was FULL of winds. She took him for a while. They got all the winds out and he was hungry. I latched again and we went for another 2 hours. I couldn’t keep up.

She suggested we supplement him. I wasn’t sure what she meant other than that I knew it meant formula. I fought. I resisted. I explained I didn’t want to give up. I cried…again.

Calmly she smiled and assured me it wasn’t giving up. She would mix some formula and give it through a syringe. That way he still took to the breast. It would fill him up and give us both some rest. I agreed. She sat in my room next to the bed and gave him 20ml.

Afterwards she convinced me to let her take him to the nursery for a few hours so that I could rest and sleep. 6 hours later they brought him back to me. He latched perfectly. He fed for an hour and then slept. Two hours later we did it again.

I stayed in the hospital an extra night because I wanted to make sure I had this down.

When we got home, he continued to feed slowly every two hours for the first 4 weeks. I continued to supplement once a day to give us both rest. We’ve had no problems.

But now has come the tricky part. I’m returning to work and LJ will be remaining home with our domestic worker F. Therefore we’ve slowly been switching him over to drinking from a bottle in the day and continuing from the breast at night. He has had a few hiccups but has taken to the bottles easily.

I, however, am not adjusting to pumping so well. It does go tremendously quicker than actually feeding him and it isn’t painful like everyone said it would be. Because I’m pumping more often than I’d normally feed and continuing to feed at night my supply is staying consistent. Here’s the thing though….

I can’t help but feel like a cow! Literally, as I’m pumping I only imagine pictures of amish girls sitting at the foot of a cow and pumping into a can! I can actually hear the sound of the milk hitting the bottom of a metal pale. It is ridiculous. Sometimes this makes me laugh…other times I want to cry because how did I become an animal!

Dutifully I felt it was only proper to name my milker. My pump is officially dubbed Jenna-Mae while I remain old Bessie.

**I am still on a mission to keep pumping! And poor Jenna-Mae is a-callin'. Till next time folks! ;-)

Shana..

Win! Win! Won!

Friday was an amazing start to a ridiculously ah-mazing weekend!! I was in the workshop on the farm for a little while Friday afternoon and was most pleasantly surprised when I returned to my office!


There was a package! Wrapped in that beautiful brown paper that tells me it was shipped quite important. It was certified and its coded tracking number gleamed up at me ensuring me it was for me! I stared in disbelief as I double checked the name and address. I wasn’t expecting anything. After careful observation I was aware that this particular goodie was addressed to my husband! My frown sets in…WTHeck is this now?? How dare he use my works address!

Then…something else pops out at me.

A beautiful notion.

A ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds of my dismay.

Three little words.

Living and Loving

Oh yea!! I’ve got a package from one of my all time favorite magazines! Clearly this is not meant for Hubby dearest. This gorgeous gift is for me in one of my shallow upbringings clever ideas of using my husband to enter giveaways as I am not South African and therefore horribly excluded not allowed to enter!

{Mentally imagine the happy dance setting in…oh yea}

I eagerly rip open the brown paper. I scramble to turn the box around. I squeal!

I’ve just been made into the wonderfully proud and giddy owner of a brand new Phillips Avent Manual Breast pump!! {Insert second happy dance!}

A new breast pump is something I was seriously considering investing in. After my failed efforts to breastfeed Lil Mister though I was hesitant to drop such a large amount of cash on a mechanism that may or may not sit collection dust in my already crammed packed of uselessness perfectly organized and boxed goods for later use cupboard! I’ve looked into many kinds and although I am considering a different brand for actually feeding, Avent was my first choice when looking into the breast pump. I used Avent bottles with Lil Mister and loved them, but wasn’t sure if I was sticking with that brand again. The reviews on the manual breast pump however are amazing and price wise it is incredibly reasonable!

Hubby and I had agreed to wait until after LJ was born and see how the breast feeding goes. Being much more informed and prepared this time, we were are hoping and praying for positive results. If I can successfully produce milk, then we would invest. (I return to work when LJ is 6 weeks old so exclusive to the breast is not an option, but pumping would be perfect as we DO NOT want to supplement with formula!)

I have taken this upon myself as a sure fire message from God that I will be successful! He has placed this desire in my heart and He has provided me with a gift so precious to our little family that I know it will not go to waste! On payday I had looked deeply at the Avent breast pump when paying my pharmacy account. I almost purchased one. My spirit told me to wait. I was so down as I felt this was a negative reaction and that I was mentally preparing to fail and that is why I didn’t want to purchase one! However….I know this was God’s plan!

I want to thank the wonderful ladies (and gents) at Living and Loving mag for all that they do! I’ve been an avid and addicted reader since I moved to South Africa! Long before falling pregnant with Lil Mister I began reading my mother in laws old editions and the moment I popped positive on that little sticky I started buying my own! I’ve kept every month since then. My most prized one is June 2011 where I was featured in the prego pictures with Lil Mister! I’ve put that one in a dust jacket and in Lil Misters baby box!! The magazine (as well as the website…link again!) is chock full of tips, stories, articles, and ideas! I can’t get enough of it and anxiously await my new one every month!

Secondly I will thank Phillips Avent for the amazing giveaway! Avent is strong supports of breast feeding and do all they can to get information out there for us moms! Their products make it easy and comfortable. Even more so, especially with the discrete and fashionable case the pump is stored in, they make it realistic for working moms to continue to provide healthy breast milk for their children! Big thanks!!

Now I just have 10 weeks left before I can try it out!! ;-) (I’ve heard nipple stimulation brings on labor so we might run it early if LJ wants to make a late appearance ;-])

Shana