Fitness Friday {week 11}

I haven't got a lot to say this week....there is a lot going on at home that is affecting me and has thrown me right off my game. SO here is a quick recap and a look into what I want to achieve.

I've said before running is like therapy for me. When it becomes too much, I can hit the pavement and work it out. That seems to have halted. A lot is going on emotionally and even running just seems to be one.more.thing.

I hate this. I know that is a strong word...but running is suppose to be a release. It has nothing to actually do with running that I've hit a wall...it's me and my mind right now.

I need focus and nothing..NOTHING I do gets me out of my head. I'm praying constantly that relief comes, but each day it is like the load gets heavier.

My future currently lies in someone else's hands. Their decision affects the lives of me and my children forever. This is putting me in a dark place. I do not like to feel so out of control. So...I've been sitting and waiting. I'm waiting for a sign as to which direction they will go. I've been waiting for words that have failed to arise. I wait in silence hoping that my WANTS for the situation will magically come forth.

I'm tired....of waiting...of hurting...of questioning.

So, I ran yesterday. (It didn't rain for a change!)

I went out for a slow, easy 5 km run. I got to the T-junction that loops me back to my house to finish my 5 km. Here is a decision point...one I don't normally think to much about. I can go forward and take the long way and do my 5 km or I can turn right and cut it short to 4 km. The thing about the short path...it hurts a little more. There is a hill. Not a big one...I can see the top of it, but it is enough to let my calves feel it. 

This time the decision struck me. I stood there looking at these two paths as if they're where I sit now in life. I could go forward...continuing on my easy path I've choosen in silence and battle out what I'd already set in mind. Take it for the long haul....

Or. Or I could cut it short knowing it is going to burn a little more and open up. I can voice up say what I want and let the cards fall where they may.

I chose the shorten path. And yes....my calves felt it a little more. But you know what else...I saw other runners. I never see them on my other forward path. Yesterday, I saw them. They saw me. It was like they were battling just as I was.....maybe.

Photo courtesy Google: My Motto for the coming week

Recap:

March 4- March 10

Dudes and dudettes....I've been slacking. 

It's been raining. It's late in the season for rain...but it's here....every...EVERY afternoon. I still haven't gotten the morning thing down to where I can fit in a run before work...so when Hubby gets home at 5:30pm is the only chance I get. If it's raining that means no run for me...since I still don't have a treadmill. I'm dying for one but they cost about 1/4 of my monthly salary! So until we're out of debt...that is a NO GO! :-(

Here is what I managed to get done....

2x 5km runs. Both were easy and done in about 38 minutes. I'm wanting faster for my April run...but since I'm not getting out there as much as I'd like; I'll take it!

1x 4km run. This was a fast run and I was back in 25 minutes! Yea for a little bit of speed.

1x yoga day. I learnt I can get some cross training done with the littles involved. Lil Mister enjoyed trying to knock me out of my poses...I enjoyed the extra challenge holding them while he rammed me!

1x core strength train....I really need to do more of this!

Future outlook:

March 18- March 23

4x cross training (2x full body 2x core)

2x Easy runs 4-6 km

Speed: 6x400m @2:25-2:20

Tempo: 2x 1k tempo @ 6:00

10 km long run

Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!

Shana..

Fitness Friday {2}

I find myself through the first couple weeks of my new fitness plans. I assure you that it is more difficult than I had imagined (I’m a glass half full girl!) but I’m coping well! You’re probably eager to hear about how week one went?? Well...

Recap 31 December- 6 January:
It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. My plans were to walk everyday and get in 2 workouts. I only got in 1 workout and walked twice. It is harder than I imagined to get the kids into a routine. I have a feeling this is going to take a few weeks to get down right. LJ was doing excellent since birth at feeding. His timing was perfect for me to get in an early run. However, now that I wanted to begin training again he has moved his routine around completely and is cluster feeding from 4am to about 10am! I can’t get him settled long enough for me to be out the door! I’m holding thumbs for the future weeks!
I will say my motivation is good. I’m eager to get out there and love the feeling I have once I’m done. It is bringing back a lot of memories and I enjoy that I feel I’m setting a good example about a healthy lifestyle for my children! I’m rewarding myself with ice cream since my usual Sunday night glass of wine as a reward for meeting my goals is out the window what with breastfeeding and all! ;-)
Future outlook:
I’ve acquired a plan via Womens Health about getting yourself running 30 minutes in 30 days. You can check it out here for more details to how the plan works. I’ve incorporated this into my plans along with some strength training.

As I’ve said, these are my goals. Everything is subject to change based on how my mind and body copes.

Jan 14: 25 minutes walk/run; 20 minutes full body workout
Jan 15: 25 minutes walk/run; 20 minutes abs workout
Jan 16: Semi-rest day 30 minutes yoga
Jan 17: 25 minutes walk/run
Jan 18: 20 minutes abs workout
Jan 19: 25 minutes walk/run; 30 minutes yoga

Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!



Shana..

Where, oh where??

Where, oh where has my motivation gone?

I have goals. I have dreams. I have always been good about doing what I need to do to accomplish what I want to. Yet...lately I feel so...BLAH!! It is really frustrating me...beyond what I can express. The worst part of all is that the more I go without doing my workouts and the longer I go keeping myself off schedule the harder it is becoming to get back on track!

I know a lot of you are probably like 'well, duh.' But for me this is becoming an ongoing daily struggle which zaps more and more energy from me.
Before I feel pregnant with LJ I had a goal to run the Comrades in South Africa. I've never really been a distance runner. Not because I can't but because I simply never put the time or effort into it. However, I LOVE running!! I love exercise. I love the feeling of pushing myself each time a little further and looking back going I didn't know I could physically or mentally make it this far! SO...I started working out again. I started running again. I started having myself and my family eat better. And guess what...I was feeling GREAT!! I was up to about 5km when...duh duh duh...EXHAUSTION struck. I should have known then! I should have picked up on the tell tell signs. But I was stubborn. I thought maybe my body and mind where just tackling a brick wall from so long out of the game. Yet, I was wrong. Because soon after (like within a week!) the nauseousness set in. Then it wasn't merely a matter of not being able to push as hard in my workouts but I was so SO tired. Yep...I was pregnant...again!
This was such a shock for us. It completely caught me off guard and as much as I tried I just couldn't keep it up during that first trimester. And now here I sit. Miserable with myself because every day I tell myself how tomorrow is the day it changes. I set my alarm and get up early sleep right the heck through it and get up in time to shower! Even if I do wake up I convince myself I can lay for 5 minutes....HAHAHA. Biggest LIE ever!
At this point I feel that the mental stress and anguish I am putting myself through is exhausting me more than anything physical about my pregnancy. In reality this has been a very EASY pregnancy for me. Yes I was sick daily until about 20 weeks but I could eat anything. I've slept fine. I am not extremely moody. So what is my deal here people??
Simply stated. It is mind over matter!

If I conceive I can't, my body achieves that. If I concieve I will, my body achieves that.

That's right...I said it! I've tried every trick in the book. I consistently put in my head the image of me crossing that finish line at the Comrades. My husband waiting for me...so proud! Calling home and telling them I made my goal. That all the hard work they and I had put in has paid off. The feeling of knowing I just did a 90km RUN!! I can feel the adrenaline pumping now in my veins. I feel my heart rate rising at the thought of the elevation of self. I see the images and tears in my mind. My bones, my muscels, my ligaments and tendons ache for the pressure of the training.
There is just this one little voice in my head that makes it's annoying mark. It refuses to back down. It keeps reminding me how out of shape I am again. How I let myself fall back during pregnancy. How I've had to push this goal 2 years again.
A 90km marathon is not something you prepare for in a few months. No, I've got to start at the bottom again. I've got to work through the 10km, the half-marathon, finally getting a few marathons under me again before I can tackle that monster.
Oh I've had nightmares about this goal. It ramagaes through my subconcious like the test I didn't prepare for in high school. I have nightmares that I fall pregnant again half way through training. I've dreamt that I fall mid-way through the run getting a DNF. I've imagined every possible negative outcome. WHY???
My mind is trying to syke me out. Why allow myself to begin such a hard but needed task if I can convince myself that I'm never going to achieve it to begin with? Convince myself that I am setting myself up for failure and that I can't fail if I don't begin. But that is the SECOND BIGGEST LIE I'm telling myself.
BY REFUSING TO TRY I'VE ALREADY FAILED!!! I want this. I NEED this. I WILL achieve this.
Then why the heck can't I get myself at it again. I know my body can't take what it used to. But I need to be doing something! I can't just sit on my ass bum like it isn't going to affect me! I need to get up and moving.

So here is my plan....always with a plan!
I've written notes in my day journal everywhere that are little motivational pickme ups! I've plastered my desktop with a huge notice about how attitude is my problem. I've asked my husband to help out around the house. I've even gone as far as telling myself I'm not allowed ANY snacks if I don't workout (for a prego this is an extreme punishment!) I've even tried explaining to my toddler how HE needs to sleep at night so MOMMY can sleep at night so that I can exercise in the mornings!
I've written out the dream of me crossing the finish line and it is taped in front of my Bible. Weird to some but I know God is with me! He wants me to do this as much as I do. He is going to provide me the mental means necessary to achieve this!
With that said...here is my motivation focus for the week! Pray with me!