The Sauce of Bad Habits Part 2

Disclaimer: Please take a moment now and vacate the premises of my parenting kitchen if you are in anyway allergic to obscure parenting thoughts, bullshit, venting, or overall fed-upness. (And yes that is my new word!) No children were harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally in the process of this parenting kitchen experiment!


If you are just joining me now, please take a moment and check out part 1 of The Sauce of Bad Habits! It is juicy, exhilarating. It is an adventure in your mouth….oh, it makes sure you aren’t lost today!

Let me now explain the steps to creating the sauce….

Step 1) Allow for spices to dry out…place in pot
Refusal to sleep on own….resulting in bitterness of parents due to lack of rest

Lil Mister needs to be coaxed to sleep each night. We co-slept as an infant because it was nice and mommy worked full time! Then we moved into our own crib.

This took weeks of transition. It was a lovely hair pulling experience. We were in a flat and I promise the birds didn’t even stick around when hearing the blood curdling screams. I think the people next to us wanted to report us for abuse!

Maybe Lil Mister is paying us back for this time!

While in said crib, we eventually learnt to fall asleep on our own. (Again we resorted back to the cry it out. I’ll admit I’m weak and it broke my heart but I’m not abusive and therefore Mommy needed to walk away!)

Then we learnt to climb out and got moved to a big boy bed. This was at the same time as we moved in with the in-laws. So two big transitions resulted in us being a little lenient on the climbing out of bed. Said leniency caused Hubby Dearest and me to take turns “putting” Lil Mister to bed. In reality this means lying with him until he sleeps.

Lil Mister is now in his own room. However, we must still lay with him until he sleeps. THIS MUST STOP!! We both work full time and love EVERY minute we get with Lil Mister but bedtime is the ONLY time we have for each other and to do things around the house!

Let’s be real here, with an infant coming along…how can we put two to sleep with me breastfeeding as well! I’m not up for it! I need both kids (insinuating that I will not be making the same mistakes a second time!) into good sleep habits so I can give necessary attention to all three men in my life!

So now…we break the habit. It is resulting in longer periods of time between going to bed and actually sleeping. It is also exhausting the patience bank. However, it must be done. I feel that 22 months old and in a big boy bed equals old enough to fall asleep by ones self.

Routine is the key. We bath, then eat dinner, then play. 19:45 we give kisses to everyone and head to room. It is then story time, tea time, and lights out. Mommy or Daddy stay in the room but NOT IN THE BED….

I’m counting the days until I can kiss him goodnight and go do dishes before 9pm!!

This process is now 20 days from hitting a year since we first transitioned to crib….this sauce takes some brewing. Allow for a slow simmer of emotions to develop including but not limited to anger, self pity, worthlessness, hopelessness, feeling as if you are cruel to child, and loathing of partner.


Step 2) Add liquid to spices and turn up the heat…

The second ingredient is a teat. Oh yes, that wonderful thing that used to work like a mute button! It now creates the liquid (literally!) in your sauce.

This step must be done first but allowed to sit while you work on other factors. Each time you will be tempted to add the removal of teat to your sauce…you will need to wait as some other age appropriate transition is happening (see previous ingredient!)

Lil Mister almost refuses, blatantly, to give up his teat.

Please do not think I am a heartless mother. I watch my child on a daily basis drink perfectly from a cup. One in every 20 cups results in something being spilt and 9 times out of 10 he has spilt on purpose! He has his own cups and has no quarrels with using them. HOWEVER….

He still wants that darn teat at night….nap time….when watching TV…if he sees it…thinks about…or hears the words bottle, teat, tea, or anything that sounds like that!

I recently bought the last stage in the Advent sippy teats. Check them out…I like them! He drank from the stage before just fine. He drinks from his Tommy Tippee Sippy. He drinks from a straw!! But these things are like the devil right now!

He honestly runs from the bottle if I put them on!

I’m exhausted as I enter the last weeks of my pregnancy. I am still working 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I still do my things at home. I WANT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!

Therefore, I keep giving him the dang teat! I put that stupid thing back on his bottle and let him go happily into dream land. I can’t stand the idea of staying up all night for however long trying to wean him!

These teats means that he continues to drink at night. Drinking at night will lead to needing to wee. This wee is an EXCESSIVE AMOUNT of liquid! I’m talking a week could fill the Nile River! Imagine Niagara Falls meets Victoria Falls cascading down the Appalachian Mountains into my child’s nappy! Okay this is a little much but you get the picture!

Join me next week for part 3!!

Shana

The New Me....

If you haven't known before, I battle right now with a motivation issue. This stems from my feeling helpless about my physical health with pregnancy beyond making sure I'm doing everything for baby!

When I fell pregnant….


Okay I have to stop myself right there. We don’t really fall pregnant now do we? I find this statement hilarious because whenever I say it or hear it I automatically envision Hubby Dearest literally falling on top of me while I’m cleaning the kitchen or something and bouncing up like a cartoon as my belly suddenly protrudes through my clothing ripping it like the Incredible Hulk!

When I became pregnant with Boetie I thought for numerous reasons that this was the worst possible timing! However I quickly came over that as I knew I was blessed by God to be expanding our family!



This is me 2 months before moving to SA at 115lbs!



Pregnancy though put a major damper on my fitness plans! I’ve never been a particularly big girl. Meaning I’m barely over 5 foot and managed to keep an average weight of 115 after high school. In school though and for a while thereafter I was very active. I ran or went to the gym daily. I was in dance and soccer in school. I loved my body.

When I moved to South Africa though, things took a bit of a dive. I gained quite a bit of weight in a very short time period. In the first four months here, I jumped up to around 155 lbs. On such a small frame this was a tremendous amount!

But I didn’t regain my healthy lifestyle.



On my wedding day just shy of 150lbs

In America I drank a lot of coffee. Black coffee though. Occasionally with dessert some cream and sugar. But all day long just black. I drank about 4L of water a day as well. I was active and made a point to get in at least 30 minutes a day. On top of that I taught PE for an elementary school twice a week (which involves a lot of running too! They sit if you sit!). AND I was a waitress. This was on my feet a lot and surprisingly it helped me with my lifestyle.
In South Africa, I drank a lot of coffee. A lot of sugar, milk, instant coffee. I stopped drinking water almost completely. I was going to the jol’s a lot with Hubby Dearest. I NEVER did exercise..unless my new Hubby counted ;-). AND I spent most of my day at the crèche where I was working…sitting!

The food also made a huge difference. I LOVED the food here. I ate like crazy! I’d sit and eat two plates of food the size of Hubby Dearest’s plate. Most of this food was in the form of red meat too. I ate mostly chicken and fish in America. But here, I maxed on red meat like I’d never tasted anything so juicy in my life!

I think you’re getting the picture…

Lovely South African braai vleis!!

So now what does all of this have to do with now?

Just before becoming pregnant with Lil Mister I began losing weight again. I had cut down my portions and was back to working in restaurants. Plus my metabolism had begun to finally adjust to all of the changes. I dropped down to about 132. At the end of my pregnancy with Lil Mister I had only managed to reach 141.

This was okay though because Lil Mister was a healthy guy coming in at a whopping 7.9 lbs!

In January '12 at my skinniest...97lbs

After Lil Mister I dramatically lost weight in the same fashion I picked it up. I wasn’t trying at all but my body decided to go extreme in the other direction. I wound up sitting at 97lbs 3 months after giving birth. The dramatic weight loss made breastfeeding impossible.
Finally a year later I begin to get my health back in order. Realizing that weight gain wasn’t going to happen like it did before; I knew I had to do something. I started planning family meals. I had to start eating balanced meals 3 times a day.

I also started working out again. Best of all I started RUNNING!

I loved it and was doing very well! It gave me something to chart and track. I could see and feel my improvements each week.

Then morning sickness hit and it was a complete road block.

Now I’ve done well to keep myself some what active this pregnancy and am so relieved to say that I’ve finally hit my goal weight at about 141 again. After pregnancy I would like to get to an average between 115-120.

The biggest thing is getting myself out there and moving post pregnancy!

To do that I have to get my mind in the right place. As I said, I wasn’t extremely unhealthy by any means but I believe as a woman YOU have to be happy with yourself. This is especially important being a mom and a wife. My child can quickly see when I am not happy with me and I do not want him to grow up aware of this. If I am not happy with me then I must change me. It is really that simple. I want to live a healthier lifestyle.

So here is my go to 5 steps for getting myself motivated for post-pregnancy training!!

1) Plan, Plan, and Plan: No I do not think that my plans are rigid and going to be effective immediately. I’m aware that things may have to change a little bit. But the best way to keep myself motivated is to work out a workout plan. I’ve looked into cross training that I’ve done before and mapped out a rough draft of how I want my training to go. Any moves that I can do now from those workouts, well I do them now! I’m mentally aware of what I plan to do in what time frame and I’m introducing my body to this plan as well!
I’ve also started getting together a healthier menu. I want to breastfeed Boetie and train for my first half so I need to have a very balanced diet. But I have two other men (Lil Mister counts as a man if you knew his personality!) in the house to feed. Meals need to cater to all and still be healthy for all!

2) Stay involved: I can’t run a marathon right now! I know many women who did run through most of their pregnancies. I shamefully regret not being one of them, but that doesn’t mean I should exclude myself from the fitness world! Every time I read about another mommy runner hitting a PR or see another runner cross that finish line after a long road I cheer for them. I soak in their excitement and emotions. I store that for later when someone will be cheering for me. I stay up to date on what is going on. I read, blog, watch, and listen for any news on people, gear and races! The more involved I am the more excited I am for afterwards!

3) Talk about it: I don’t hide my dreams or goals from friends or family. I hound my husband constantly. Look at my workout tracker I’ve created. Listen to what I read about the Comrades. These races are these months. I start training again on this date. I’m positive they are all sick of hearing about it but it keeps it a part of my mind and heart. If you can, find a partner who is willing to do this with you! Hubby Dearest has agreed that if we join a gym then he will gym with me! That is a great motivation because it is like a date night!

4) Schedule: Especially when you have young children it can be very difficult to just ‘squeeze’ in that run. Schedule time for your workouts. Speak with your spouse, partner, or someone who will be looking after the children. Set a time up each day in which you will run/gym. If you don’t make time for it, the time will go without it. I have already stressed to Hubby and family how important this is to me and that Hubby and I must work out a schedule!

5) Set goals: This I think is my biggest motivator. I have already planned my first 5k and am waiting for races schedules for next year to begin planning the rest of my progress. My largest goal is to run the Comrades in 2016. Yea, that is 3 years from now but it is also a 90km race! I need some time and training. But every step leads me closer. So…set goals. Say you want to be running this far in this amount of time. Be realistic…i.e. my first 5k is 4 months post birth. Unrealistic would have been a half marathon or scheduling my 5k only 4 weeks afterwards! Setting goals gives you something to work towards!

Will everything work out as planned? Probably not. My plans are more of guidelines. But this is where I am. I’m focused. I’m staying involved. I’m planning, scheduling, and dreaming everyday of achieving my goals. Now we play the waiting game. I will keep you updated on where everything is and as soon as my training starts I’ll make sure you are bored glued to your screen to know each pain, cry, tear, and triumph this body and mind of mine accomplishes! We’ll see after Boetie is here how it all goes!

Excited about...poo

Excited about…POO!!


Oh yea! I’m excited about some poo. When it is in the potty that is and not on the tiles around the pool!!

Lil Mister has done SO SO amazing this weekend. I would never believe that I’ve only been potty training for two weeks!

I got home late from Hubby’s work Friday but he had done very well at school and even came home from school in his underpants!! YAY…at least that is one battle down! It wasn't so bad because while Hubby was working I got some great photo's of the storm moving in!

Saturday he asked for his potty the moment he woke up! He sat on it and watched some cartoons while I debated whether I truly wanted to get out of bed! Next thing I hear is ‘Momma, poo poo!’ And sure enough he had done his business in the potty! I squealed with delight and immediately woke up Hubby. He obviously was not so impressed at being waked up before 7 am on a Saturday to be told about such things!

Afterwards we proceed outside. Coffee and some tea and another go in the potty! He’s getting very good about asking. This time he comes to me to tell me he will pee pee in potty and then runs (literally at sprint like speed for a 22 month old!) to the potty in the bathroom.

Now, Lil Mister has learnt a new trick. He will ‘uit gooi’ his own potty. He takes his inside part from the potty goes to the big toilet and throws in it. Then he flushes and is very proud of himself! At least he is helping out! He also is starting to get used to washing his hands EVERYTIME! This makes me a proud mommy!

The washing the hands is especially fun for him because I got this awesome gift at my baby shower! It is a automatic soap dispenser. Lil Mister loves that Mommy doesn’t have to give him soap anymore. He runs his hand under and out it comes!

After this we had to put a nappy on to go to town and Lil Mister was passed out before we got home!
We spent the rest of the afternoon being extremely lazy and swimming in the pool! It was GREAT!

We had plans for a braai with Mr & Mrs P that night and overall I would say the potty was successful there too! He had a couple of accidents outside but was very good about asking Papa to take him to ‘pee pee on grass’. He even did his business in the BIG BOY toilet that night!! (Imagine a cheesy grin from this Momma!)

Sunday we ended up staying home because Lil Mister had woke up just before midnight at the braai and only fell back asleep around 2am! Tired is an understatement! The screams evoked from him not getting his way and pure exhaustion Sunday morning could have woken George Washington from his grave! Eventually Hubby Dearest and I took a drive with Lil Mister to get him to nap.

BIG MISTAKE! Lil Mister took about an hour and half nap yesterday morning and nothing…I repeat NOTHING the rest of the day. At 7 pm last night he falls asleep between Papa and Oupa while talking to them!

Only one accident really yesterday and that was Mommy’s fault. He did ask to pee pee in potty and I was just too slow! I could tell he wasn’t impressed with me either!

I only had to change his nappy once in the night verses the normal two times! He’s going dry longer. We got two potty’s in this morning before school and made it to school with no accidents!

I know we have a long road ahead of us. But I feel that we deserve to pat ourselves on the backs! My goal is to have the potty training well ahead before Boetie (LJ) comes in the next 3 ½ weeks. I figure the six weeks I will be at home will give us a good amount of time to work out all the kinks and I will have a potty trained kid by the time he returns to school! (Cross your fingers!)


So what do I think has been the overall keys to success???

1) I didn’t read a bunch of books! I read maybe 2 or 3 articles on line but otherwise just dove in. Every child is different and what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for others! When I was pregnant I read EVERY piece of information I could and when things didn’t go the way the “experts” claimed I freaked. This particular extravaganza I have been much more relaxed.

2) Take away nappies. I cannot stress this enough. Explain to your little that they are a big boy/girl and that they don’t need nappies anymore! The only time Lil Mister is in a nappy right now is when he sleeps or if we will be in town for more than 20 minutes. If we are at friends or in the car he is in his underpants. In and out of nappies confuses their minds. Nappies are for DUDU time ONLY!

3) Praise, squeal, jump, clamp, sing, or whatever it takes to make sure your little knows how proud you are when they do use the potty! At first it was just us getting excited that he’d sit. Eventually they come around. Make sure they know they’ve done good!

4) Don’t punish when there are accidents! Don’t even let them know you’re frustrated! It makes it so much harder! They will make mistakes but they already feel bad themselves (they really do! Lil Mister says sorry each time!). Only praise…no punishment!

5) Do it in the warm weather where you can spend lots and lots of time outside. Take a potty outside too! They wee less in warm weather AND the mess is easier to clean up. When they’re playing is when they forget the most.

6) Ask them constantly. I’m talking every 15 minutes I’m asking Lil Mister if he wants to potty. Eventually he says yes. Leads for less accidents because I’m constantly putting it on his mind.

So yea…that is it. I’m a proud mommy today! Are any of you potty training? Have you potty trained? What’s your top tip?

Shana

What you have missed!!!

I just thought I'd give a little update on this past week!!!
We've been quite busy in the Scott household and being that it is grapes season work is CHAOTIC to say the least! But in true blogger fashion I've managed to push a few out here! This week:
The Sauce of Bad Habits
Training and Changes
Theme Thursday Link Up

I'm working on a button but I can't seem to figure out how to get that thing loaded with a little grabby box!! Any one out there know how??

Oh...and I've finally created a fan page over at facebook! Check it out here!

Otherwise stay tuned next week for some more attempts at organizing my life and a lot more chaos!! (Oh and a surprise baby shower!!!)

One Lesson...Theme Thursday

This topic took me a little off guard. I was prepared for another humorous teeth grinding topic like the last couple of weeks. However, this was more personal. This topic was more real. This topic was hard!

The thought of one…ONE…specific and singular concept was a little daunting. There is so much I want my boys to know! There are so many beliefs they need to be aware of. How do I choose one? Is there one concept that could cover such a vast amount of necessary knowledge?

I’m entering panic mode!

Then it hit me like a speeding bullet! It was like a gigantic light bulb being turned on. I think my face literally lit up at the moment!

It’s actually quite simple. (Say thank you since Thursdays are a double post day for now!!)

If I could make sure that there was one lesson impressed on my children that they knew without a doubt, it would be that they must make God the center of their lives.

If God is at the center of their lives, their hearts, and their minds, then everything else will fall into place. They need not worry about the future because their futures lie with God. They will begin their days, end their days, and live their days in prayer.

Although there are so many concepts I will still want them to know; by making God the center of their lives then they will be involving all of these. Sexual purity and the necessity of it in their hearts is founded in God. Teaching them about jealousy is founded in God. The need to be understanding and love one another is founded in God.

Every moral and value that I hold dear in my life and in my family is founded in the Bible and is part in the whole of having God as the center of my life.

So…there it is! It is a short and actually very simple concept. My children must create a foundation of God as the center of their lives….

Now comes the hard part. Living a life myself that teaches them this!

This post is part of Theme Thursday. Go check it out...all the cool ones are! ;-)


Shana

Week 35...

Total Weight Gain: 62kg (+16 kg)
This week, Baby is: 2.4 kg

How far along? 35 weeks, 4 days (Kind of…so we think…guestimate…)
Due date: 6-18 Dec 2012 :-/

Total weight gain/loss: +1 kg

Maternity clothes? No…I don’t think I’m going to make it until the end either. Especially since I’m working until the end! I need to get like maybe one pair of pants!

Sleep: Non existent…period

Best moment this week: Getting the bags packed…finally!!

Food cravings: Still salty and fresh!! Bring on the raw tomato and avo with salt and pepper!

Movement: It seems like he has turned with his back to the right now because all the movements have swapped sides.

Symptoms: hmm….back pain! And very fierce contractions!

Labor Signs: Nope!

Stretch Marks: nope and we’re working hard to keep it that way!

Swelling? It’s getting very bad in the evenings. I think I sit too much at work!!

Belly Button in or out? It is most definitely out!

What I miss: wearing a swimsuit!!

Feeling toward Pregnancy: anxious…I guess I’m getting to the end right?!?

What I am looking forward to: Soaking up some summer sun with Lil Mister and LJ.

Milestones: I’ve packed!! Okay there are a few last minute things I need to throw in but yea…I’ve packed! Yay!!

News: I will NOT be going for an induction unless medically necessary. I really like my gynae but I know that God knows best. I shouldn’t rush things or try and fit them into my idea of a plan. If I am meant to have Daya deliver my baby then LJ will come before or after he is on leave. Otherwise I pray that God gives me whatever I need (patience, strength, understanding, ect) to like the gynae that does deliver LJ. I pray that God calms my spirit. All is in His hands.


I’ve removed my checklist for this week. I will only post it on the weeks where something changes. Otherwise I will post a link to the previous post with said list in case you’re curious as to how we’re coming along. I suddenly realized that I have less than 5 weeks left and there is so much not done!! Oh My WORD!!! Check my list here!

Shana

Wordless Wednesday

Hmm...I thought it'd be fun to jump on this meme....

So here is my week in pictures! ;-)

The Sauce of Bad Habits part 1

As new parents we experience an entirely different world from what we previously knew.

For some couples, the road to children has been a joyous process. It was a decision well thought about and planned. They waited expectantly for the day that they would learn of their little ones life. The day finally arrives and is surrounded with much hoopla and extravagant emotions. Much of which couples already having born such offspring remember and wish very dearly to warn congratulate the soon-to-be’s!

For others, it comes as a shock. Children may have been something that was spoken of as a possibility in the near far future. Some out there are single moms or even single dads! Others are blessings by God providing homes to children who otherwise would be without! Whatever the circumstances are that brought on the pooping, weeing, crying bundle of joy; we are all in the same boat.

As your offspring grows, you are showered with loving advice from others who have walked the path before you….oh who am I kidding? You are bombarded with hundreds of “experts” opinions and other moms and dads "experienced advice" all while being forced to assume your child must fit into a specific category or “box”.

Let’s face it. Ladies (and gents!) our children don’t necessarily fit into any form of category. Take my son, for example. When ever we go into town, I am always stopped and told how gorgeous and well behaved he is. I say thank you and try to act as if I’ve never noticed. In reality I’m thinking to myself, why can’t he be like this at home?!? Instead, he is throwing toys, jumping off of anything he can get onto, and trying to get onto or into the rest! The teachers tell me he bit a kid! And a typical Saturday consists of two baths and a swim because he can’t stay out of the mud….or was that just dog poop….NOOOOO!!!

All of this is part of growing up! That is all fine and dandy with me. I take no thoughts to heart if my son needs a bath for the third time today because friends have “popped in” to say hello and we are far from presentable! He’s a boy is what I always tell myself. (I also secretly glare at them with my fatal evil eye for having just come over unannounced and swear to myself that they must accept that I have a child and this is the way life is! Just wait until it's your turn!)

There are factors that I didn’t think about though. And through all the loving advice I’m given nothing is preparing me for dealing with facing these obstacles with my child. I am finding it increasingly exhausting to remind people of the common sense fact that Lil Mister is not the same as anyone else’s children!

If they’d pause for a moment and listen to themselves give “advice” they’d realize that they contradict themselves every second sentence in any case.

"Kid 1 was potty trained at 18 months. Kid 2 was a little less interested so I had to do a, b, or c different and Kid 2 was finally off diapers by 3! Definitely do it this way!”

“With girl I breastfed exclusively and that is the right thing to do. Oh no, I didn’t breastfeed with boy for so long because he had teeth early and it hurt.”

These examples could go on, but I won’t get detailed into the reservoir of parenting must do’s and don’ts I have stored from people over the last almost 3 years. Basically, from the day you tell anyone..ANYONE you are pregnant you are opening the flood gates to the River of Baby Knowledge.

But now I sit, with #2 almost ready to make his appearance and I have a very large dilemma on my parenting plate. This dilemma boils down to a very basic, bitter, and overall ass burning sauce. The sauce of bad habits!

Disclaimer: Please take a moment now and vacate the premises of my parenting kitchen if you are in anyway allergic to obscure parenting thoughts, bullshit, venting, or overall fed-upness. (And yes that is my new word!) No children were harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally in the process of this parenting kitchen experiment!

For some parents, what I am now viewing as bad habits for my nearly 2 year old is far from concern in their eyes. Call me whatever you want but to me….well it’s time for Lil Mister to start becoming a Lil-big Mister. I don’t want to rush his growth. I just want need him to start doing things a little more ….independent. (oh my I feel the evil mother eyes on me now!)

Here are the ingredients to this sauce which is causing so much panic:

Needs to be coaxed to sleep
Still wants to drink from a teat ALL THE TIME
Said teat causes for a dip in the potty training department
TANTRUMS…
Becoming proficient in a particular brand of French….no not the Paris kind
Completely UNWILLING to detach from 24/7 attention

Please join me next week as we turn up our stoves and delve into the step by step process of making The Sauce of Bad Habits (part 2).


Shana