Happy Anniversary!

Today....today Hubby and I have technically been married for 5 years! I say technically because if you’ll remember in last year’s post, I revealed our big secret about having been married a little under a month before our wedding! 5 years do not come without their ups and downs. A perfect marriage does not exist in the sense that everything is unicorns and rainbows 100% of the time. In a real marriage, you disagree at points, you fail each other and yourself at points, and you are soared above cloud 9 at points. What makes an okay marriage become great is how you handle each of these situations.

 

I’m not here to make you think we’ve got it perfect, but to tell you there is a handbook that does have it all printed out!

Hubby and I never really dated. Truth be told (in the very short condensed version....read the full story here) we barely knew each other at all! Then bam....I moved to South Africa and exactly two months later to the day we stood before a court official in Home Affairs and signed our marriage certificate. We have spent the last 5 years getting to know each other and building a family and a marriage.

Twice we were “walking” distance from divorce; once before children and once shortly before I became pregnant with LJ. Those were dark and hurtful times. We both felt lost. We felt failed by the expectations we had for each other and we felt regret for not being what the other person needed wanted. I say wanted here because we weren’t living our lives for God at those times so actually we had NO idea of what we needed.

Being separated creates valley’s in your marriage that are very hard to fill again. Words are exchanged that aren’t meant and loneliness brings darkness that seems to never lift. This is not what God intended for marriage.

Gen. 2:18, 21-24The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 

God made marriage right from the beginning because He knew it was better for us to be together. God gives us an entire handbook about living our lives for Him and the power and strength He can supply within our marriages. It's simply...the Bible.

The Way of Love

13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 butwhen the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

In the end, we have made it work. Today, has been tough. We are still staying separately as he is living where his new job is and I’m still in our old town looking for a job where he is. Our plans to move at the end of this month are dissolving and much to our hearts dismay....it seems this time will be stretched another month.

But I know God has a plan. I know He is working in us. I know, no matter how hard it is for us to be apart, He has a reason for everything and He will ensure we get through this and come out stronger on the other side.

So, to my Hubby today:

I love you more than I could ever imagine possible. Each day I see your strength and see your passion and see your endurance. I know God is working through you to secure an amazing future for our family. I know what you are doing right now, working away from home, is one of the hardest things you’ve done for our family. I am so incredibly proud of you and blessed to be your wife. I can’t describe what a wonderful father you are or tell you how you fill my heart with joy.

To be honest, this is just another valley in our marriage. We’ve been through worse. We’ve spent days not able to see a light beckoning us forward. But there is light here. It is surrounding us each and every day. There is a light shining towards the future you are building. I definitely couldn’t do this with anyone else!

I love you. The boys love you. And we are all so proud. We refuse to allow Satan once inch of gratification in thinking that this amazing opportunity you have been given is negative in any way! We will continue to strengthen our marriage, build memories with our children, and focus on what God has planned for our family! You are an amazing man! I can’t wait until you are home! I love you!

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XOXxx

Shana Danae..