Tuesday, 7 May 2013

KWU- Mom, Woman, Daughter, Friend

I haven't seen my Mom in over 4 years and sadly do not own a single picture of us together.
One for the bucket list :-(

I had a…”I want my Mom moment” the other morning.
I quickly messaged her then afterwards to tell her all about it!
I realized how quick I am to take things in my life for granted.

I wish I could say that by now I have an excellent morning routine down, but alas this has not happened. LJ is busy teething which causes him to wake constantly at night and Lil Mister is JUST beginning to sleep through as I have finally broke down and COMPELTELY took his teats away. (Poor child was like a man looking for an oasis in the desert wanting a bottle of milk those first few nights!)

Needless to say this leaves me already tired when I wake up. (uh-hum, cough, lazy, cough) Therefore, by night fall, the boys are bathed and falling asleep…I have little energy or motivation to achieve what needs done and push it off until morning.

Then every morning, I’m kicking myself as I run in circles trying to complete mundane tasks I could have done before sleeping.

It is a hectic and punishing cycle. One that needs broken.

Yet this particular morning as I stood drinking my coffee, I looked around and realized how blessed I am and how much I’ve taken for granted growing up.

Hubby Dearest was busy preparing our lunches for the day and the washing was left to be hung and dishes left to be washed because I have a full time maid/nanny that will take care of those things.

I think back to my childhood and well, that wasn’t the case for us. Yes, I was only one child but my mom had to do it alone. My father drove a semi and was gone Sunday night through Friday afternoon. Which meant the entirety of the school week and routine was left in my moms hands.

There was no one to help prepare dinner or wash laundry or do dishes. There was no one to take me while she did grocery shopping or wanted to get her hair done. No one helped relieve her when a restless night had come about or when I was down with the flu. She tackled it all head on….alone.

My dad was fully hands on when he was home over the weekends. It was just unfortunate that he had a job in which he wasn’t home in the week. This left my mom pretty much being a single mom 90% of the time.
Until now….well, I’d never thought about it. I know selfish and I’m kicking myself for it. But I guess I had to walk in the shoes for a mile or two….right??

I love my mom and thank her for the amazing example she set for me. She was 19 when she married my dad and I was already 3 years old then! She took me under her wing and became exactly what I needed growing up. Never in my life did I realize all that she did. I thank God for bringing her into my life and now, better late than never, appreciate absolutely every ounce that she gave to raising me to be the mom I am today. She is a strong, beautiful woman!

It is difficult being so far away and we don’t have the relationship I wished we still had. I miss our dinner dates and getting my nails done. I miss our chats and crying in her arms when life is too hard. I miss her laughter and her smile. I miss her fun perspective towards life and her infectious live every moment attitude. Mainly...I just miss her! Life puts us on different paths and as she said back to me that day….we do what we have to!!

So this Mothers day….I love you Mom!!! 

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Shana Danae..

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